Never Drank Agina Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

593 Results for Never Drank Agina

View 1 - 10 results for never drank agina comic strips. Discover the best "Never Drank Agina" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2000's comic on:

Tags #me from future, #next holiday party, #never drank agina, #predicting future

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert introduces the future Dilbert to Alice: "Alice, this is me from the future." Alice says: "Hi." The future Dilbert tells Dilbert: "At the next holiday party, she's all over you." Dilbert asks the future Dilbert as they are walking away: "Is that true?" The future Dilbert answers: "No, but after today she never drank again."

We Will Never Forget Ted

Thank you for voting.
We Will Never Forget Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2014's comic on:

Tags #coworker, #coworkers, #death, #tributes, #morning, #beloved collegue, #never forget, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We mourn the untimely passing of our beloved colleague, Fred. We will never forget him. Dilbert: It was Ted, not Fred. Boss: Was he beloved? Wally: I don't remember. It was like a week ago.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2011's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #work ethic, #work-life balance, #implies life is impirtant, #work-life intergration, #big thanks, #never had a life

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "We're no longer using the term 'work-life balance' because it implies that your life is important." Catbert says, "Now we call it 'work-life integration' so it's easier to make you work when you would prefer being with loved ones." Catbert says, "And I'd like to give a big thanks to those of you who never had a life." Dilbert says, "You're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2011's comic on:

Tags #cruelty, #frustration, #idea, #never work, #reject hypothesis, #self doubt

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Your idea will never work. Dilbert: At what point did you reject the hypothesis that you're too dumb to understand how good the idea is? I'm becoming even less of a people person.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2011's comic on:

Tags #conversation, #interviews, #biggest mistake, #learned from t, #old couch, #chewing, #starbucks, #never tell story

View Transcript

Transcript

Interview question. Boss: Describe your biggest mistake and what you learned from it. Man: I tried to get rid of an old couch by chewing it into tiny pieces and leaving one handful at a time at a Starbucks. Boss: And what did you learn? Man: I learned I should never tell that story.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2011's comic on:

Tags #employees, #illness, #marketing people, #brain heals, #drank sludge, #brain worm, #dead in a week, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Hi-ho, marketing people! I've been transferred into your department until mky brain heals. I drank some industrial sludge. But don't worry - I'll be able to shake it off in a few days. A little pollution can't hurt me. I grew up in India. This brain worm will be dead in a week, tops.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2011's comic on:

Tags #conversation, #internet & world wide web, #seattle, #quick meeting, #stone age tribe, #skype, #never used, #why fly, #telecommunte, #airplane

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to fly to Seattle for a quick meeting. Dilbert: Will I be meeting with a newly discovered Stone Age tribe that has never used Skype? Boss: No. Dilbert: Then I'm totally confused.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2012's comic on:

Tags #job description, #mindless zombie, #team work, #wate time, #tasks, #waste time, #never shows intitaive

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Should I waste my time doing tasks that are not in my job description? Or should I be a mindless zombie that shuns teamwork and never shows initiative? Take your time. I'm good either way.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2012's comic on:

Tags #goals, #nailing them, #unspoken objectives, #goals never mentioned

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How are you doing in your unspoken objectives? Dilbert: My what? Boss: I'm referring to the goals I have in my mind that I've never mentioned. How are those going? Dilbert: I'm totally nailing them.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 1991's comic on:

Tags #elbonia, #elbonians, #yergi, #scrolls, #dog, #fall, #sky, #never, #shave, #duck, #literal, #interpret

View Transcript

Transcript

In Elbonia, Dogbert lies face-down in the mud in front of his crashed hover-saucer. An Elbonian points at him and says, "Look, Yergi." The Elbonian picks Dogbert up and says, "The Holy Scrolls say a dog will fall from the sky." The other Elbonian asks, "They do?" The Elbonian carrying Dogbert replies, "Actually, they say 'never shave your duck,' but it's not literal. You have to interpret." The other Elbonian asks, "You mean I CAN shave my duck?!"