New Bad Apple Comic Strips
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1000 Results for New Bad Apple
View 1 - 10 results for new bad apple comic strips. Discover the best "New Bad Apple" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday December 21,
2012
Tags #diseases, #employees, #frustration, #new bad apple, #joining project, #full disclosure, #totally contagious, #immune, #worms, #business, #medical
Transcript
Coworker: I'm the new bad apple. I'll be joining your project. In the interest of full disclosure, this is totally contagious. Wally: I'm immune, but not for reasons I'm proud of. Coworker: You must be Wally.
Saturday December 22,
2012
Tags #frustration, #worms, #bad apple, #ruining everyone, #walk it off, #contagious
Transcript
Dilbert: The bad apple you hired is ruining the rest of us. Boss: Just walk it off, you big baby. I want solutions, not problems. Ouch! Stupid bad apple! Dilbert: Walk it off.
Friday February 04,
2011
Tags #bad time, #governments unemployment stats, #look for job, #managers & supervisors, #new job, #employment, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "The government's new unemployment statistics are out." The Boss says, "It's still a bad time to look for a job." Dilbert says, "Yeah. I got that."
Tuesday March 21,
1995
Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #new org chart, #so close, #too bad, #play before firing, #downsized
Transcript
Catbert stands on a cubicle wall waving a document. Catbert says to Alice, "Here's the new org chart. Maybe you're on it and maybe not." Alice jumps up and tries to reach the sheet as Catbert holds it out of reach. Catbert taunts, "Ooh! Nice try! So close. Too bad." Catbert ties the chart to a string and dangles it into the cubicles. Wally and Alice lunge for it. Catbert says, "It's fun to play with them before downsizing them."
Thursday January 04,
1996
Tags #promoted ted, #new manager, #new beard, #grow from forehead, #wrong, #punish them, #bad opinions
Transcript
The Boss gestures toward Ted and says to Alice and Dilbert, "I promoted Ted to be your new manager. I used to think he looked boyish, but his new beard has changed that." Alice and Dilbert look shocked. Alice asks, "Are either of you the least bit concerned that Ted's beard is growing from his forehead?" As they walk away, Ted says to the Boss, "She made it sound as if it's wrong." The Boss says, "You can punish them for having bad opinions."
Tuesday November 18,
1997
Tags #losers, #bad ideas, #test a new idea, #research, #science
Transcript
Dilbert is dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and carries a Frisbee. He says, "All great ideas look like bad ideas to people who are losers." Dilbert throws the Frisbee while Dogbert watches it float away. Dilbert says, "It's always a good to test a new idea with known losers to make sure they don't like it." Dogbert's Research Co. A man says to a woman, 'What a coincidence. We both lost three homes in flood zones." The woman is in love. Dogbert says, "Let's begin."
Tuesday March 03,
1998
Tags #project staus, #budget cuts, #new prodcut, #user interface, #target market, #too shy, #bad sign, #no laws, #do for living
Transcript
Project Status: Dilbert is giving a presentation. He points to the overhead projection. He says, "Due to budget cuts, our new product will have no user interface." The projection shows a blank computer monitor. Dilbert continues, "Our target market is people who are too shy to return products." The projection is of a person blushing. Dilbert comes home carrying his brief case. He says to Dogbert, "Is it a bad sign if you spend the day wondering why there are no laws against what you do for a living?"
Tuesday March 27,
2001
Tags #good news, #bad news, #power utility, #company, #new vp opeartaions, #offcie, #wheel attached, #generator, #business
Transcript
Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I have good news and bad news." Dogbert says to a happy Ratbert, "The good news is I'm starting up a power utility company and you're my new VP of Operations!" Dogbert says to a chagrined Ratbert, "The bad news is that your office is inside a wheel attached to a generator."
Monday April 26,
2004
Tags #bad attitude, #new engineer, #paid more, #justify, #smile
Transcript
"Why does the new engineer get paid more than I do? How do you justify that?" "Unlike you, he doesn't have a bad attitude." "I have a good attitude. Look at this smile. Look!" "My eyes!"
Saturday September 01,
2012
Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #bad job, #new assignment, #poor job, #matching skills, #business
Transcript
Boss: Can you explain why you're doing such a bad job on your new assignment? Dilbert: Yes I can: some idiot did a poor job matching my skills to my assignment. Boss: Let's try it again, but this time say something bad about yourself. Dilbert: I'm too honest?