New Head Regulator Comic Strips
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1000 Results for New Head Regulator
View 1 - 10 results for new head regulator comic strips. Discover the best "New Head Regulator" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday August 20,
2010
Tags #new head regulator, #small man, #pocket, #pet head, #breast feed, #lactate, #kibble, #drinks, #ceo
Transcript
CEO says, "Have you met the new head regulator for our industry?" CEO says, "At first it was inconvenient to feed him." CEO says, "Luckily I started lactating." Man says, "Have you tried kibble?"
Friday December 27,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #date, #new, #system, #evaluating, #check, #boxes, #Card, #night, #dinged, #point, #nervous, #twitch, #head, #block, #bucket
Transcript
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I'm using a new system for evaluating my dates. I just check off boxes on this card throughout the night." The woman continues, "There . . . I just dinged you a point for that nervous twitch." The woman asks, "Would you say your head is more like a block or a bucket?"
Friday October 23,
1998
Tags #new hire, #not working, #no head, #headless man, #made mistake hiring, #fired, #insubordination
Transcript
Dilbert walks up to the Boss. Dilbert guides the headless man by the collar. Dilbert says, "The new guy isn't working out." The Boss says, "Why not?" Dilbert says, "Maybe because he has no head." The Boss frowns. The Boss says,"So, you think that I made a mistake hiring him?" Dilbert says, "Um... no. But the new guy thinks so." The boss shakes his fists. The Boss says, "Then he's fired for insubordination."
Wednesday June 12,
2002
Tags #new guy, #no assignment, #looking for project, #ineffectual, #good attendance, #head nodding
Transcript
A new employee approaches Dilbert and says, "I'm a new guy with no assignment. I'm looking for a project to horn into." The new employee continues, "But don't be threatened by me. I'm exceptionally ineffectual." The new employee continues, "I'm trying to build a career based on good attendance and head-nodding."
Tuesday April 01,
2003
Tags #critical, #engineer, #handshake, #head with lies, #new team player, #parinoid, #soft and clammy hand, #undead, #engineering
Transcript
The Boss introduces a woman to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet your new team member, Peri Noid." Peri Noid extends her hand and asks, "Why haven't you invited me to a meeting? Who's filling your head with lies?" Peri Noid continues, "Your hand is soft and clammy! Are you the undead?!!" Dilbert replies, "Engineer."
Monday May 05,
2003
Tags #new thoughts, #head heavier, #compensate, #meeting, #no goals, #be on stamp, #future golas, #business
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Wally says, "I think my head is getting heavier from all the new thoughts." Wally continues, "I plan to compensate by propping it up with my arm during meetings." Dilbert says, "Some people think you have no goals." Wally responds, "Long term, I hope to be on a stamp."
Friday March 05,
2004
Tags #new boss, #goat head, #puts spell, #workers, #finish project, #sadistic, #fair, #witch as boss, #motivation
Transcript
The New Boss "Maybe you'll be more motivated with a goat head." "The spell won't go away until you finish your project." "She's a big improvement over our last boss." "She's sadistic, but she's fair."
Friday August 05,
2005
Tags #accomplishments, #iso 9000, #sei policies, #new policy, #comply, #head spin, #imagination, #pretending to work
Transcript
Wally: "My accomplishments this month include complying with our ISO 9000, Sarbanes-Oxley and SEI-5 policies." "And if you make a new policy, I will comply with it so fast it will make your head spin!" "Is it my imagination or is pretending to work getting easier?"
Saturday September 06,
2008
Tags #evil director, #human resources, #mandatory stretch, #employee welness, #good and flexible, #new place, #tuck your head, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "We're instituting a mandatory stretch period every day." Asok says, "This is surprising because human resources usually doesn't care about employee wellness." Catbert says, "Phase one is just to get you good and flexible. Phase two involves a new place to tuck your head."
Sunday September 14,
2008
Tags #cell phone product, #form of radiation, #negative effect, #head turn red, #weight loss, #new cell phone, #positive spin
Transcript
The Boss says, "We have a little problem with our new cell phone product." "It gives off a form of radiation that has a negative effect on the user." Dilbert says, "How bad is it?" The Boss says, "Well, it makes your head turn red, and you lose weight." A person says, "Hey, what is up with our new cell phone? I feel different." A janitor says, "Can I borrow your friend?" The Boss says, "I don't see why not." The person says, "AAAIII!!!" GLUB GLUB GLUB The Boss says, "Anyway, see if you can put a positive spin on that."