New Strategy Comic Strips

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1000 Results for New Strategy

View 1 - 10 results for new strategy comic strips. Discover the best "New Strategy" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new strategy, tech support, that customers, user manual, defective products

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The Boss: Our new strategy is to make defective products and charge for technical support. Heh- heh ...our user manual is totally incomprehensible. we didn't plan it that way - we were lucky, Dilbert: Im so proud to be here. The Boss: It all came together when I realized I hate our customers.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags strategy lockup meeting, meeting won't end, new strategy, wedge my broom

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Alice, Dilbert, and The Boss sitting at table. The Boss says, "Our top executives are in a special strategy lockup meeting." The Boss continues, "The meeting won't end until they agree on a new strategy, so it might be a while." Janitor places a broom in handle of the meeting room door and thinks, "Maybe if I wedge my broom here I won't forget where I put it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new strategy, sales stink, cutting costs, lose hope, working great, higher margins

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The Boss: "Our new strategy is to sell fewer units at higher margins." Dilbert: "Question: How's that different from saying our sales stink, so we're cutting costs?" The Boss: "I call it a strategy so you won't lose hope." Dilbert: "It's working great."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, new strategy, nimble, meeting, business plan, business

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CEO: Our new strategy is to be nimble. Dilbert: Is that the same as saying our strategy is to have no strategy? CEO: Just do your job. Dilbert: Can I be nimble instead?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, managers & supervisors, new strategy, engineers, middle manager, glue, binds, vague objectives, business

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Carol: What did our CEO have to say? Boss: He has a new strategy, but it seems vague. Carol: What will the engineers think about it? Boss: They don't care about this stuff. Carol: What exactly does a middle manager do? Boss: We're the glue that binds the apathy to the vague objectives.

Old Strategy

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Old Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, meeting, business, strategy, products, sell, fair, price, new

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boss in meeting: our new strategy is to make great products and sell them at a fair price. dilbert: what was our old strategy? boss: i'd rather not say.

Strategy Is To Nimble And Agile

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Strategy Is To Nimble And Agile  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nimble, agile, logic, questioning, strategy, language

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Boss: Our strategy is to be nimble and agile. Dilbert: Do other companies have a strategy of being clumsy and slow? Catbert: How'd the new strategy rollout go? Boss: They ruined it with questions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags projects floundering, bold strategy, reorganize, department, last month, bold

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The Boss: All of our projects are floundering. I decided on a bold new strategy. Dilbert: Let me guess You're going to randomly reorganize the department.... Dilbert: Just like last month. The Boss: you have to admit thats bold.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags product to meet demand, lower demand, bah, new startegy, more arrogant, teach

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The Boss says at a meeting: "We can't make enough of our product to meet demand." He continues: "Our new strategy is to be more arrogant. We hope that will lower demand." At home, Dilbert asks Dogbert: "Can you teach me to be arrogant." Dogbert exclaims: "Bah!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rebalance 401k, new starategy, element of surprise

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The Boss: Our new strategy has never worked for anyone before. "That will give us the element of surprise." "Let's get started!" Dilbert: "Can I rebalance my 401(k) first?"