New Vice President Of Engineering Comic Strips
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1000 Results for New Vice President Of Engineering
View 1 - 10 results for new vice president of engineering comic strips. Discover the best "New Vice President Of Engineering" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 25,
2010
Tags #new vice president of engineering, #meeting, #introduce, #full body, #face front, #pointy hair, #lack of experience, #exotic, #over selling, #mustache, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Meet our new vice president of engineering." The Boss says, "We're lucky to have him despite his utter lack of experience in our industry." The Boss says, "Some might call him unqualified, but I call him exotic." Vice President says, "You're over-selling."
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Monday May 01,
2006
Tags #new vice president, #billon dollars, #garbage barge, #oceanfront realestate, #open business, #barge
Transcript
"I worked all year on a project that got canceled today because we got a new vice president who didn't like it." "I made a billion dollars by convincing suckers that a garbage barge was oceanfront real estate." "Would you lend me some money so I can open my own business." "No, but I know some people on a barge who would."
Friday March 26,
2010
Tags #new vice president of engineering, #office, #lack of experience, #revenge, #office politics, #worry, #sabotage, #best engineer, #4g, #skeptical, #false information
Transcript
The New VP The Boss says, "Don't worry that I wanted your job, or that you have no experience in this field." The Boss says, "I won't try to sabotage you. In fact, I'll send you my best engineer to bring you up to speed." Vice President says, "So... it's called 4G because it's G-G-G-Good." Wally says, "Something like that."
Sunday October 31,
2004
Tags #senior vice president, #impress, #chummy with intern, #slacking slacker, #good motivation
Transcript
The Boss: The new senior vice president will be at my meeting, I hope to impress him with my leadership skills. Uh- oh underling alert. I can't be seen getting chummy with an intern, Pleas don't try to make conversation don't don't don't don't Asok: did you do anything fun this weekend? The boss: Here he comes! The boss: get back to work you slacking slacker!!! Good motivating! if he blows ho sons with every necktie. You're my new vice president.
Saturday February 06,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #wendell, #stanford, #mba, #workforce, #impressed, #education, #senior, #vice president, #quality, #work
Transcript
A man says to Dilbert and Wally, "Hi, guys. I'm Wendell J. Stone the Fourth, recent Stanford MBA and brand new to the workforce." Dilbert and Wally look at each other. Wally says, "Look, 'Wen-dull,' we aren't impressed by your education. At this company it's the quality of your work that counts!" Wendell replies, "I'm your new senior vice president, and I want you to lick the tar off my Porsche now." Wally says, "Okay, but watch the quality of my work!"
Thursday December 28,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dan quayle, #vice president, #states, #pants, #lord, #bed, #rock
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "Oh, sure, Dan Quayle may be Vice President of the United States . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . But he still puts his pants on one leg at a time." Dan Quayle sits on his bed with his arms through one of his pant legs. Marilyn Quayle covers her eyes and thinks, "Oh, Lord, not this again . . ."
Thursday February 27,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #vice president, #inept, #simple-minded, #comparison, #job
Transcript
Ratbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dogbert says, "Ratbert, I'm looking for a Vice President for my ticket." Dogbert continues, "I need somebody who is so inept and simple-minded that I always look good in comparison." Ratbert says, "I don't understand." Dogbert says, "Okay, okay, you've got the job."
Tuesday September 27,
1994
Tags #pulling rank, #vice president, #teaching himself banjo, #wait in hallway, #offcie, #feet on desk, #making wait
Transcript
CEO: Im running late. But since Im a Vice president. you'll have to wait in the hallway. You'll be able to judge your relative worth by observing what thing I do while you wait. Dilbert: He's teaching himself banjo.
Tuesday April 02,
1996
Tags #ivy league degree, #vice president, #rerganized, #training ratbert, #teching, #grooming for position, #powerful position
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk and Dogbert sits on the desk behind him. Dilbert says, "I wish I had an Ivy League degree so I could be promoted to vice president." Dogbert responds, "You don't need one." Dilbert says, "It's impossible to be a vice president without one." Dogbert says, "I'll bet $100 I can turn a rat into a vice president." Dogbert and Ratbert stand in front of a mirror. Dogbert says, "That was good, but try saying it as though your soul just abandoned your body." Ratbert says, "We've reorganized to focus on our core competency."
Wednesday April 03,
1996
Tags #corporate vice presdient, #win bet, #action plan, #spend money, #vice president, #annoying rodent
Transcript
Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Remember everything I taught you, Ratbert. If you can pass yourself off as a corporate vice president, I'll win my bet." Ratbert stands on a desk and says to Wally as he walks by, "Yo, Headcount! If you have any issues, put together an action plan. Our people are the best. Don't spend money." Wally asks Alice, "Do you think he's really a vice president?" Alice answers, "Maybe. But I'm not ready to rule out 'annoying rodent' yet." In the background Ratbert says, "Quality."