Search Results for "new words"
Share May 04, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert speaks at the podium. "I've been asked to summarize my project into three bullet points." Dilbert says, "I had to invent some new words." Pointing to these words (Splurby, Noobah, Pizkwat), Dilbert says "Believe me, you don't want to be any of these things."
Share June 02, 2004's comic on:
"I got a bad case of ergophobia. It's an abnormal and persistent fear of work." "Isn't everything about you a little abnormal and persistent?" "Yeah, but Im still delighted when I discover new words for me."
Share October 06, 2002's comic on:
Wally is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Wally, it's time for your annual performance review." As they're walking to the conference room, The Boss says to Wally, "None of my usual words fit your situation." They enter the conference room and take seats. The Boss continues, "So I had to hit the thesaurus pretty hard." The Boss continues, "Your overall rating is 'feral.'" The Boss continues, "Your leadership skills are rated 'squirrely.'" The Boss continues, "And your teamwork is a solid 'coot.'" The Boss continues, "Your long-term potential is to die in the landscaping and become compost." After the meeting, Dilbert asks Wally, "How'd it go?" Wally responds, "I wasn't really listening."
Share May 28, 2001's comic on:
The Boss brings a new employee to introduce to Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to meet incredulous Ed." The Boss continues, "No matter what question you ask him, he'll act as if you are inventing words." Dilbert turns to Ed and asks, "Do you have a family?" Ed replies, "Do I have a WHAT??"
Share September 09, 2002's comic on:
The Boss introduces a man outfitted in a burglar suit, holding a sack. The Boss says, "This is our new CEO, Rufus T. Skwerrel. His first job was trailer park burglar. The Boss continues, "But thanks to a series of mergers and acquisitions, not to mention suspicious accounting, here we are." The Boss asks Rufus, "Would you like to say a few words?" Rufus pulls a knife out on Asok and says, "Wallet and watch."
Share December 28, 2002's comic on:
Catbert is sitting at his computer. He says to The Boss, "I can monitor all employee e-mail from here." Catbert continues, "I'm looking for recently estranged lovers so I can promote one of them over the other." A man holds up a piece of paper and asks a female coworker, "Why is my new job title a long string of curse words?" The woman responds, "I win."
Share March 13, 2003's comic on:
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Wally has been researching Greek words to name our new product." Wally says, "All I have is Zeus. And Parthenon. And the word 'Greek' itself." Wally continues, "I understand they have a word for sports even too. I'm trying to track that down."
Share August 31, 2018's comic on:
The New Hire New Hire: Can you take me around the office and introduce me? The Boss: No, that scheme won't work because it requires me to admit I don't know most of their names. New Hire: What's my name? The Boss: Um... Does it start with a letter?
Share December 31, 2018's comic on:
Carol: Do you have any New Year's resolutions? Dilbert: I resolve to not make major decisions about my life based on random calendar dates. Carol: So...nothing about your weight? Dilbert: Worst holiday ever.
Share March 29, 2011's comic on:
Dogbert says, "I'm writing fake press releases for imaginary new green energy technologies." Computer says, "Scientists say that by 2040 you will be able to power your entire home with the breeze from your refrigerator door." Dilbert says, "Now how will I know which green breakthroughs are real?" Dogbert says, "Seriously? You think there are real ones?"