Search Results for "new year's resolutions"
Share December 31, 2018's comic on:
Carol: Do you have any New Year's resolutions? Dilbert: I resolve to not make major decisions about my life based on random calendar dates. Carol: So...nothing about your weight? Dilbert: Worst holiday ever.
Share December 31, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert: Put on you party hat, Dogbert. It's almost 1990. Do you have any new year's resolutions? Dogbert: A few... I resolve to show no tolerance for those less fortunate...
Share January 01, 2011's comic on:
Dogbert: I made a list of demands for you new year's resolutions. Dilbert: Thous salt not fill up the DVR with geeky science shows. ....Thou shalt not snore like an asthmatic cow.... I didn't know other people could impose resolutions on me, Dogbert: Its a new thing.
Share August 07, 2001's comic on:
A Hollywood type says into the telephone, "Hello.. Yes, I'd like to buy a rave review for my new movie." Dogbert, on the other end of the line, replies, "Can you afford the 'suspenseful thrill ride' or would you like something more in the 'delightful' price range." The man responds, "I'm releasing it on New Year's Day, Can you give me a price for 'Best Comedy So Far This Year?'"
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Share December 31, 2010's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Amber, would you like to celebrate New Year's Even with me?" Amber says, "I'll say maybe. That way you can't make other plans and I can wait for a better offer." Amber says, "I can get away with it because of whatever is happening over there." Dilbert says, "Yup."
Share December 31, 2009's comic on:
Dilbert says, "It's new year's eve. Do you want to stay up until midnight?" Dogbert says, "Only losers wait until midnight. The Dogbert new year begins at 10 PM." Dilbert says, "It's 10 PM now." Dogbert says, "And I like to celebrate by giving myself a hug....mmm...."
Share December 29, 2007's comic on:
Ratbert: What kind of party are we having for New Year's Eve? Dilbert: "Why would I celebrate an arbitrary calendar event?" Ratbert: "Suddenly I don't feel so bad about using your hairbrush as a loofah."
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Share December 31, 2011's comic on:
Woman: Happy New Year! Dilbert: Whoa! Settle down. I don't celebrate the magical thinking that says one random point in the space-time continuum is somehow special. Woman: It's just a hug. You'll enjoy it. Dilbert: You're like some sort of Oxytocin drug dealer.