Nice To Know Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Nice To Know
View 1 - 10 results for nice to know comic strips. Discover the best "Nice To Know" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 05,
1996
Tags #pond scum, #nice to know, #lower staus, #brochures, #vendor, #hurts
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally walk down the hall together. Dilbert says, "Although we are nothing but pond scum in this company . . ." Dilbert continues as they walk into a conference room, "It's nice to know we can still find someone of lower status to torment." Dilbert and Wally sit at a table with a vendor. Dilbert says, "You call these brochures? How can I even consider buying products from a 'ven-duh' such as you?" Wally reaches for the salesperson's ear and says, "Tell me if this hurts."
Monday October 10,
2011
Tags #money, #prices, #aggressive jerks, #underpaid nerdling, #give her a raise, #nice employees
Transcript
Dilbert: I read that aggressive jerks get paid more than nice employees. Alice: Step aside, underpaid nerdling! Boss: Remind me to give her a raise, and I don't know why.
Tuesday June 25,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #chosen, #lunch, #executive, #office, #smarter, #nice, #normal, #glass ceiling
Transcript
The caption says, "Dilbert is chosen to have lunch with an executive." Dilbert sits at the table wearing a suit jacket. The executive says, "I want you to know that I'm just a normal guy . . ." The executive continues, "Oh, sure, I make a little more money, and I have a nice office . . ." The executive continues, "And of course, I'm much, much smarter."
Thursday June 17,
2004
Tags #wave, #say bah, #its been nice talking, #dog, #man, #animals
Transcript
"When you ask me questions, I usually wave my hand and say, 'Bah!'" "But from now on, I'll say 'why do you want to know?' And then I'll say, 'Bah!' over your answer." "How often do you hear the phrase 'It's been nice talking to you?'" "Not so much."
Sunday November 07,
2004
Tags #slaes rep, #nice suit, #dilbert questioned, #well dressed engineer, #not redibilty, #reverse makeover, #consultant, #engineers are grungie, #business
Transcript
The boss: go with our sales rep and answer the customer's technical questions. whoa! you can't go looking like that. This is a nice suit, exactly, a well dressed engineer has no credicbility! I'll call my reverse make over consultant. Im bob the straight eye for the queer looking guy. Lets see...I'll give you my clothes ...add ear hair eye brow extensions, You seem highly credible and I don't know why. Genius.
Sunday September 22,
2002
Tags #full service broker, #stick broker, #brokers know stocks, #earn trust, #direct approach, #garbage, #biggest commission
Transcript
Dilbert walks into the office of a Full Service Broker. The Broker introduces himself to Dilbert, "I'm Bob Weaselton, your full-service stockbroker." Bob continues, "There are two ways we can go here." Bob continues, "Option one: I act as if brokers know which stocks are better than others." Bob continues, "Then I'll earn your trust by comparing your portfolio to misleading benchmarks." Bob continues, "But I prefer a more direct approach." Bob continues, "Option two: I sell you whatever garbage earns me the biggest commission." Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "Would you do me a favor and lie to me?" Dogbert responds, "Nice haircut."
Wednesday January 28,
2015
Success Is About Who You Know
Tags #blame, #blaming, #success, #who you know
Transcript
Wally: Success is all about who you know. I'm not successful, so apparently it doesn't help to know you. Dilbert: I"m sorry I let you down. Wally: It's as if you aren't even trying.
Saturday August 15,
2020
Ted Needed To Know
Tags #office workers, #technology, #business, #email, #forward, #malice, #slander, #private, #know, #face maks
Transcript
alice: i forwarded your email to ted. Dilbert shaken: WHAT!!! i said bad things about ted! that was a private email to you! alice: he needed to know. dilbert yelling: he did not need to know!
Friday April 22,
2011
Tags #cruelty, #office workers, #mindless task, #intern, #time, #little value, #jump out, #nice way to say
Transcript
Dilbert: Asok, there's no nice way to say this... do this mindless task for me because you're nothing but an intern and your time has very little value. Asok: There probably was a nice way to say that. Dilbert: It didn't jump out.
Sunday April 24,
2011
Tags #fraternization, #joking, #agenda, #know anything, #important he is, #like his jokes, #late for dinner, #jokes, #table, #meeting, #laughter, #business
Transcript
Boss: The first thing on the agenda... Dilbert: Hold on. I don't know anything about this guy. Boss: What's the difference? Dilbert: I need to know how important he is. Should I pretend to like his jokes? Should I nod in agreement no matter what he says? Man: You can call me anything. Just don't call me late for dinner. Dilbert: Ha ha ha ha ha!! I hope I didn't waste that.