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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1997's comic on:


Tags #intranet web page, #mother visit, #mpeg file, #video of birth, #html, #covered video, #fire wall, #nick name, #dilberts mother

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Dilbert's mother sits on the couch drinking tea and Dilbert sits on the chair across from her. Dilbert says, "I spent all week tweaking HTML for my Intranet Web page. You should see it, Mom." Dilbert continues, "I converted the video of my birth into an MPEG file. Anyone behind the fire wall can view it." Dilbert continues, "You should hear the nickname they have for you at work!" Dilbert's mother replies, "You should hear the one I have for you right now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2003's comic on:


Tags #business reporter, #wall times post gazette, #new product line, #nick name for ceo

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Dilbert answers his work phone, "Hi, this is Dilbert." The voice on the other end says, "Hi, I'm a business reporter for the Wall Times Post Gazette." The reporter says, "I'm doing a story about how dumb.. I mean dynamic... your new product line is." Dilbert comes home and tells Dogbert, "Then he promised not to print the amusing nickname I have for our CEO." Dogbert responds, "You are so dynamic."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #mullet head, #nickname, #everyine call, #behind back, #secret nick name, #long in back

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carol: "Hey, mullet-head, this is for you." "What did you call me?" "Oops. I used the secret nickname that everyone in the office has for you." "My work here is done." "It's just a little long in the back!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #furry log, #nick name, #cute names, #creating hostile environment, #squirrel infested stump

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The Boss: "Alice, did you call the director of human resources a "furry log"?" Alice: "Yes" The Boss: "I can't tell if you're promoting teamwork with a cute nickname or creating a hostile environment." "Which is it?" Alice: "It's teamwork, you squirrel-infested stump."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2005's comic on:


Tags #nick name, #illusion of competence, #the wizard, #info guru, #punch more, #break room, #coffee

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Wally: I need a nickname to create the illutsion of competence.<Br>"I was thinking along the lines of "the wizard" or "info-guru."" I've never wanted to punch you more than at this very moment."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #anxiety, #internet & world wide web, #password recovery, #password, #pin code, #user name, #code word, #complicated planet, #floyd, #first person, #breath, #jump, #outer psce

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Dogbert: Are you trying to recover a password, PIN code, user name, pass code or code word? Man: I hate this stupid complicated planet! I am so out of here! Dogbert's password recovery service. And that is how Floyd became the first person to hold his breath and jump into outer space.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2012's comic on:


Tags #app store, #created app, #dream killer, #first name, #free apps, #madonna, #sell a million, #mother, #Family

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Dilbert: I spent four months creating this app, mom. I think I can sell a million of them for $3.99. Mom: I saw seven apps just like this in the app store and five of them were free. Dilbert: Thanks for the feedback, dream-killer. Mom: Have you ever thought of just using your first name, like Madonna?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 1989's comic on:


Tags #name, #names, #ruler

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Dilbert says to Phil, "Gee, if you're the ruler of 'Heck' you must have some kind of awesome name." Phil replies, "Yeah." Dilbert asks, "Well, what is it? Something like 'King of Evil' or 'Lord of Darkness?'" Phil replies, "You can call me Phil, Prince of Insufficient Light."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1990's comic on:


Tags #judicial proceedings, #Dilbert, #jury, #duty, #name, #betrayed, #Dogbert, #mcmahon, #ed, #law

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Dilbert stands in front of the mailbox reading a letter. Dilbert says, "Oh, carp!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've been called for jury duty." Dogbert says, "Me, too." Dilbert says, "Dogs can't do jury duty. How did they get your name?" Dogbert replies, "I've been betrayed by Ed McMahon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #sneeze, #happen, #name, #leave, #town

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Dilbert sits at a conference table with three people and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . sneeze coming." Dilbert sneezes violently. Dilbert's sneeze blew the toupee off the man next to him and knocked a woman out of her seat. Dilbert thinks, "I can pretend that didn't happen, or change my name and leave town."