"Who's today's guest cartoonist?"
"At great expense, I've just hired Nildo Orbfutz as a consultant. He will increase our productivity hereby calculating how much time is actually wasted!"
"Well, Nildo. How did you acquire your credentials? Degree in business management? HR? PR? Psychology?"
"Let me guess: you've been fired from every job you ever had... for wasting time?"
"Welcome to the wonderfuk world of consulting."
"Answer: go to Dilbert.com."