Nitwit Hates Ogre Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

31 Results for Nitwit Hates Ogre

View 1 - 10 results for nitwit hates ogre comic strips. Discover the best "Nitwit Hates Ogre" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nitwit hates ogre, #ogre ate nitwit, #borrow nit iwt, #requisition, #work, #coffee room, #break room, #ogre, #nit wit, #coworkers, #new hires

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Alice are at the coffee machine. Alice says, "My project is being stalled because my nitwit hates my ogre, and my #$&%! won't do any work." Dilbert responds, "My ogre ate my nitwit and my #$&%! is trying to blame me for it." Alice asks, "Do you want to borrow my nitwit?" Dilbert responds, "No, I have a requisition in."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #donuts, #eat nit wit, #nitwit, #ogre, #poor guy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is meeting with two managers, an ogre and a nitwit. Dilbert says, "Our project team is composed of a nitwit, an ogre, and a #$&%!" The nitwit asks, "Which one of them is a nitwit?" The ogre raises his hand and says, "You didn't bring donuts. May I eat the nitwit?" Dilbert responds, "Yes." The nitwit says, "Poor guy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #integrate, #inventroy, #finance systems, #nitiwt, #ogre, #fired, #thirty years

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, I want you to integrate our sales database with our inventory and finance systems." The Boss continues, "The managers of those systems are a nitwit, an ogre, and a $#!&% respectively." The Boss continues, "And they know that two of them will be fired when it's complete." Dilbert responds, "I can get that done in thirty years."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #channeling, #hostility, #art, #bowl, #fruit, #banana, #hates, #apple

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at the table and Ratbert stands on the table holding a paintbrush and palette. Ratbert looks at his easel and says, "I'm channeling all of my pain and hostility into my art." Dogbert says, "All I see is a bowl of fruit." Ratbert makes angry brushstrokes and replies, "The banana HATES the apple."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #god hates pople, #coffee tastes better, #stir with finger, #lonely religion

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert are in the office kitchen getting coffee. Wally says, "I believe God created the earth because he hates people." Wally says, "And I believe coffee tastes better if you stir it with your finger." Dilbert says, "It sound like a lonely religion." Wally says, "They all start that way."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job interview, #bed news, #upset, #hire someone, #hates boss, #set up, #cruel

View Transcript

Transcript

Job Interview The Boss says, "Would you tell me bad news even if you knew it would upset me?" A man says, "Yes, I would." The Boss says, "Why would I hire someone who hates me?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #work, #clothes, #talented, #Family, #sews, #hate, #wife, #marriage

View Transcript

Transcript

A man in a strange shirt says to Dilbert, "My wife sews all of my work clothes. She's the talented one in the family." Dilbert looks at the man's oddly shaped shirt. Dilbert asks, "She hates you, doesn't she?" The man says, "Why do you ask?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #ginger, #date, #puppetitis, #rare, #disorder, #puppet, #weird

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I haven't dated much since I came down with puppetitis." The woman continues, "It's a rare disorder that makes your hand act like a puppet." Dilbert replies, "That's weird." The woman moves her hand like a puppet and says, "He hates us! We must kill him!" The woman says to her hand, "Not yet, Ginger!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #floyd, #question, #co-workers, #chewed, #clothes, #synthetic, #shock, #healthy, #eat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Wally, "What happened to you?" Wally's clothing is torn and tattered. Wally replies, "I asked Floyd a question." Wally continues, "Floyd hates his job, so he takes it out on co-workers. He almost chewed my clothes off." Dilbert asks, "How'd you stop him?" Wally replies, "He went into synthetic shock; it's not healthy to eat too much of this stuff."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choke on donut, #psychic powers, #bob in office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Is Bob in his office? Carol: Since Bob's office is all of twenty feet away, I'll have to use my psychic powers to determine the answer. Dilbert: I could go look. Carol: Bob hates you, He secretly wishes you'd choke on a donut.