No Baby Section Comic Strips
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Carol: Do you want extra legroom on your flight? It costs more. Boss: Yes. Carol: Do you want an aisle seat? That costs extra. Boss: Yes. Carol: Do you want a no-baby section? It costs extra. Boss: Yes. Carol: Extra bag? Boss: Yes. Carol: Meal? Boss: Yes. Carol: Priority boarding? Boss: Yes. Carol: In-flight entertainment? Wi-fi? Flight insurance? We're almost done. Just twelve more questions. Your ticket comes to $27,689. And it's only three stops! Boss: No let's do the return flight. One hour later.
Dilbert looks in a book and says to Dogbert, "This book says the best time to pick up women is while walking a dog." Dogbert says, "Let's try it." Dilbert holds a leash that is wrapped around Dogbert's stomach. Dogbert walks in front of Dilbert yelling, "Yo! Baby! Whoa whoa! Shake it, don't break it! Come and get your single male!!" Dilbert says, "I think this method is overrated." Dogbert yells, "Form one line! No pushing!"
Dogbert stands on the desk chair typing. Dilbert asks, "Are you really going through with the unauthorized biography of me?" Dogbert replies, "Yes." Dogbert says, "I'm up to the part where Jackie 'O' and Liz Taylor fight a duel for your love." Dogbert continues, "Tragically, neither are aware that you're carrying Steve Garvey's baby!"
Dilbert stands at the "Happy Airline" ticket counter. The ticket agent says, "I'm sorry, sir, but you've been 'bumped.'" Dilbert says, "What?!" Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "I've got a ticket! I demand satisfaction! I'll call the president of your stupid company!!" Dilbert is strapped to the wing of a plane. Dilbert thinks, "I wonder if there's really such a thing as the 'duct tape section.'"
The panel says, "Dilbert presents: Bad Habits From a Parallel Universe!" A maitre d' says to Dilbert and Dogbert, "Table for Phleem?" Dilbert replies, "Yes. In the 'no slapping yourself with a sea bass' section." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table listening to slapping noises. Dogbert says, "Great, one table away . . ." Dilbert says, "Do you ever wonder about the first person to try that habit?"
Dawn the Dinosaur says to Bob, "We should think of a name before the egg arrives." Bob asks, "How about Shelley?" Dawn asks, "Bob, are you aware that the egg will become a baby dinosaur?" Bob looks shocked and asks, "What?"
Dawn the Dinosaur hands Bob an egg and says, "It's your turn to baby-sit the egg, Bob." Bob throws the egg into the air and thinks, "I used to love it when my dad tossed me in the air." Bob thinks, "This dad stuff is easy." Dawn watches him toss the egg and looks furious.
Dilbert sits at his desk and says to Dogbert, "I heard you closed your school for self-service gas station attendants." Dogbert says, "It didn't work out." Dogbert continues, "I was teaching the section on refolding maps . . . Frustrations were high . . . At first, the paper cuts were minor, but panic swept the room." Dilbert asks, "Well, how bad could . . ." Dogbert says, "They're all dead . . ."
Dilbert asks Alice, who is pregnant, "When's the baby due?" Alice replies, "Any minute now." Alice continues, "This company has no maternity leave policy, so I'm going to deliver by the Xerox machine and keep working." Dilbert says to a man, "That doesn't seem fair." The man replies, "Yeah, especially if you need to make copies."