No Complaints Comic Strips
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35 Results for No Complaints
View 1 - 10 results for no complaints comic strips. Discover the best "No Complaints" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 10,
2012
Tags #competition (psychology), #fish & aquatic mammals, #complaints, #shark, #doplphon, #robot, #patrol, #waters
Transcript
Boss: I'm hearing some complaints that you built a robot shark to patrol the soc-called territorial waters around your cubicle. Alice: It's a robot dolphin. I can see how people might be confused. I need you to smile more. Shark: Whatever.
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Friday July 26,
1991
Tags #bob, #Dogbert, #petition, #democracy, #complaints, #d-uhh
Transcript
Bob the Dinosaur asks Dogbert, "Will you sign my petition?" Dogbert asks, "What's it for, Bob?" Bob replies, "I didn't have any complaints, so it just says 'D-uhh." Dogbert says as he signs the petition, "Democracy is a wonderful thing."
Thursday March 19,
1998
Tags #user manual, #typo, #technical calls, #phone sex place, #complaints are down, #customers
Transcript
Dilbert looks over his cubicle wall. The Boss says, "Our user manual has a typo. Our technical support calls are going to a phone sex place." The Boss says, "Complaints are way down." Customer's House: The customer sits at his computer and says into the telephone, "Well, okay, but... has that ever worked?" The voice on the other end of the line says, "No complaints yet."
Thursday July 17,
2003
Tags #engineers, #said to reporter, #technology is purtrid, #compensate, #ignore complaints, #witch hunt
Transcript
The Boss is holding a newspaper and looks panicked. He says to Catbert, "Look what one of our engineers said to a reporter!" Catbert reads, "Our technology is putrid, but we compensate by ignoring complaints." The Boss asks Catbert, "You know what would be more fun than fixing those problems?" Catbert exclaims, "Witch-hunt!!!"
Sunday May 01,
2005
Tags #complaints, #badering manager, #deciosn on issue, #emails phonecalls, #insist on the job, #overpaid
Transcript
I've received some complaints that you've been badgering the managers. "Hmm...badgering you say." "Let me see if I understdnd this "badgering" concept." "Let's say that I need a manager's decision on a critical issue..." "And the manager in question ignores my e-mails and phone calls..." "shouldn't I insist that this manager do the job for which he is overpaid?!!!" "Huh? Shouldn't I? What do you say? Huh? Huh? How about it? Huh?" "I'll say I talked to her."
Wednesday October 09,
2013
Tags #complaining, #demand solutions, #layer of management, #managers & supervisors, #solutions not complaints, #business
Transcript
Boss: Bring me solutions, not complaints. Dilbert: Okay. Let's abolish the layer of management that does nothing but demand solutions. Boss: Now you're just being a jerk. Dilbert: Is that a complaint?
Monday June 13,
2016
Twitter Complaints
Tags #customer servie, #customer support, #trolling, #social media, #popularity, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: We're getting a lot of product complaints on Twitter. Boss: Tell those trolls to shut up and leave us alone. Dilbert: Uh... okay. CEO: Why did our stock just drop to zero? Boss: Sounds like a seasonal thing.
Wednesday September 20,
2017
Tina Should Hope For The Best
Tags #complaints, #human resources, #results, #transparency, #business
Transcript
Tina: Have you done anything to address my complaints about management? Catbert: I can't tell you about any confidential conversations I have with management. Tina: So... should I just hope for the best? Catbert: That sounds like a solid plan.
Tuesday September 19,
2017
Tina Has Complaints Against His Boss
Tags #human resources, #complaint, #ignore, #attention, #results, #business
Transcript
Tina: I have complaints about my boss. Many, many complaints. Catbert: Tell me about it while I pretend to listen. Tina: Then you will look into my complaints? Catbert: Is there any way you would know if I didn't?
Friday January 19,
2018
Employee Body Cams
Tags #against ceo, #misinterpret warmness, #record interactions, #sexual harrasment, #wear body cams, #complaints
Transcript
The Boss: we've had seven hundred complaints about sexual harassment in the past month. From now on, employees must wear body cams to r record every interaction. Alice: Weren't all of this e complaints against our CEO? The boss: People misinterpret his warmness.