No Confidence Comic Strips
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26 Results for No Confidence
View 1 - 10 results for no confidence comic strips. Discover the best "No Confidence" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 10,
2020
Asok Confidence
Tags #asok, #business, #co-workers, #confidence, #enough, #fake, #room, #test
Transcript
ask: you know what's wrong with this room? not enough of me in it. that's what. dilbert: are you testing your fake confidence? asok: is it working?
Monday May 22,
1989
Tags #confidence, #dog, #power, #surprise, #feelings, #bad dog, #animals
Transcript
Dilbert shows Dogbert a newspaper advertisement and says, "Imagine my surprise when I saw this ad for Doctor Dilbert's seminar on developing self-confidence. Okay, what's the scam?" Dogbert explains, "I figured this would be a good way to find a bunch of meek people to do my bidding. If they refuse, I'll yell at them and hurt their little feelings." Dogbert continues, "Then I'll leverage that power into vast wealth or maybe world domination." Dilbert says, "No! Bad doggy!"
Friday October 09,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #general, #government, #u.f.o., #encounters, #Lose, #faith, #aliens, #abducting, #people, #helpless, #maintain, #confidence, #taxes, #citizens
Transcript
Dogbert and a man in a military uniform sit at the table. Dogbert says, "General, I don't understand why the government is trying to cover up all the U.F.O. encounters." The General replies, "People would lose faith in their government if they knew aliens were abducting people and we were helpless to stop them." Dogbert says, "So, to maintain confidence in the government, you use our taxes to kill the citizens who find out?" The General asks, "Is that so bad?"
Tuesday July 18,
1995
Tags #suggestions, #good idea, #doubtful of wally, #seen in book, #no confidence, #employee morale, #abilities
Transcript
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "That's an interesting suggestion, Wally. But if it's a good idea, why aren't other companies doing it?" Waving his hands wildly, Wally yells angrily, "Can you imagine in your WILDEST dreams that maybe, just MAYBE I had a good idea that nobody else thought of?!!" The Boss comments, "You must have seen it in a book." Wally says, "Thanks for the confidence in my abilities." Dilbert interjects, "You read a book?"
Thursday February 08,
1996
Tags #one year project, #boss three months, #great confidence, #padded estimate, #hate guts, #keep raises low, #dip in motivation
Transcript
Dilbert follows the Boss into his office and says, "I told you this project would take a year. But on my objectives you say I must have it done in three months." Dilbert continues, "Which of these reasons best describes why: A. You have great confidence in me. B. You think I padded my estimate. C. You hate my guts." The Boss responds, "We don't really need the project. It's just a way to keep raises low." Dilbert says, "I just felt a little dip in my motivation."
Thursday August 21,
1997
Tags #recruiting on campus, #judging me, #job interview, #engineering knowledge, #ancient, #confidence, #people skills
Transcript
Caption: Recruiting on Campus. The nerdy college studnet says, "It's funny that you're judgein me. My engineering knowledge is current while yours is ancient." Dilbert writes on a note pad. The nerd thinks, "I think I impressed him with my confidence." Dilbert writes. The nerd hits himself in the head. "Ooh! People skills! I forgot!" Dilbert writes.
Monday January 08,
2001
Tags #retaining best employees, #whittle, #confidence, #hire
Transcript
Dogbert asks The Boss, "Do you have a plan for retaining the best employees?" The Boss says, "I whittle at their confidence until they believe no one else would ever hire them." Dogbert says, "Doesn't that make them sluggish?" The Boss says, "Yes, but if they're all sluggish, it looks right."
Friday October 12,
2012
Tags #anger, #complaining, #performance review, #nice leadership, #pile of cake, #lack confidence
Transcript
Performance Review Boss: Tina, you lack confidence. Tina: That's because you keep criticizing me! Nice leadership, you perspiring pile of pound cake! Was that better or worse? I can't tell.
Thursday August 01,
2013
Tags #apathy, #managers & supervisors, #no confidence, #management, #low score, #cancel surveys, #business
Transcript
Boss: According to the employee survey, 98% of you have no confidence in management. Rest assured, management will make sure we never again get such a low score. CEO: Cancel all future employee surveys.
Wednesday September 03,
2014
Tags #apathy, #dangerously incompetent, #last day of work, #lazy, #software, #tell everyone, #train, #unwarranted confidence, #engineering
Transcript
Coworker: This is my last day of work, so I won't have time to completely train you on the software. But I can show you enough to give you unwarranted confidence, when you should be feeling dangerously incompetent. Dilbert: That sounds worse than doing nothing. Coworker: Before I leave, I'll tell everyone you're lazy.