No Emails Comic Strips
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39 Results for No Emails
View 1 - 10 results for no emails comic strips. Discover the best "No Emails" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 23,
2011
Tags #fraternization, #meetings, #emails, #no one responded, #project timeline, #consensus nor reality, #illusion of progress
Transcript
Dilbert: Once again, none of you responded to my emails this past week. So I put together a project time line that reflects neither consensus nor reality. Wally: Can I have a copy so I can mock it? Dilbert: No, I'm still enjoying the illusion of progress.
Friday October 19,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #consumer protection, #court ordered, #good defense, #internal emails, #known to be dangerous
Transcript
Lawyer: The court ordered us to turn over all of our internal emails. Have you ever mentioned in email that our products are known to be dangerous but we don't care? CEO: I don't even know what products we make. Lawyer: That's a good defense. We might need that.
Tuesday October 23,
2012
Tags #awkward, #emails, #karma, #texts, #voicemails, #plausible excuse
Transcript
Dilbert: Here's the guy who hasn't responded to any of my seventeen emails, nine texts, and four voicemails. It must be awkward sitting here now. Are you trying to concoct a plausible excuse for ignoring my messages? Say hello to karma.
Wednesday June 25,
2014
Tags #celestial bodies, #managers & supervisors, #black hole, #management style, #dangerous, #importnat emails, #employee named ted, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Your management style has caused a black hole to form. Boss: Is it dangerous? Catbert: No to us. It only absorbs important emails from employees. And en employee named Ted, apparently.
Wednesday April 13,
2016
Don't Read Long Emails
Tags #email, #tldr, #communication, #assumption, #honesty
Transcript
Man: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I don't read long email messages. Long emails are a sign of a disorganized mind. I try to avoid contact with that sort of person. Man: And yet, here I am. Dilbert: I didn't say it works every time.
Friday July 22,
2016
Wally's Awesome Emails
Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #excuse, #competition, #accomplishment
Transcript
Alice: This week I designed and built a prototype that can turn any kind of garbage into fuel. Boss: And Wally? Wally: I sent out some emails, but no one answered. Before you judge me, keep in mind that you don't know how awesome those emails were.
Thursday April 28,
2011
Tags #anxiety, #confused, #emails accounts, #internet & world wide web, #might snap, #pin code, #too many passwords, #user names, #chaos, #crazy, #lose it, #mental, #breakdown, #overload, #technological, #psychology
Transcript
Dogbert's password recovery service. Ted: I have so many passwords and email accounts and user names that I don't know what goes to what. I'm lost. If you can't help me I think I might snap. Dogbert: No problem. What's your password recovery PIN code? Noise: SNAP!
Monday November 28,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #another anonymous email, #correlation, #employees, #link to article, #worlds worst boss, #business
Transcript
Boss: Someone sent me another anonymous email with a link to an article about the world's worst bosses. I get one of those emails every time I leave your cubicle. Did you think I wouldn't notice the correlation? Wally: Correlation does not imply causation.
Friday February 06,
1998
Tags #company, #knows about wally, #phone call logs, #web hits, #emails, #urine test, #college grades, #salary, #Family, #business, #money
Transcript
Catbert sits on Wally's desk holding some papers and says, "The company knows everything about you, Wally." Catbert looks in Wally's file and says, "We have logs of all you phone calls, web hits, and e-mail. We have your urine test, college grades, salary and family contacts..." Catbert says, "It's against our policy to kill employees and replace them with low paid impersonators, but I wanted you to know it's feasible."
Wednesday December 09,
1998
Tags #asok dsitraught, #can't do work, #no response, #emails voice mails, #pathetic defeated losers, #Wally
Transcript
Asok leans on Wally's desk. Wally sits at his computer. Asok says, "No one returns my phone calls.... no reads the e-mail I send." Asok says, "I find myself hanging around with other pathetic, defeated losers." Asok says, "No offense." Wally says, "None taken."