Search Results for "no social skills"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 235

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2011's comic on:

Tags #internet & world wide web, #monsters, #turned feral, #engineers, #social life, #social skills, #few weeks, #wolfman, #howls at inetrnet

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Steer clear of Darryl. He turned feral. Asok: Feral? Dilbert: That's what happens when engineers don't get invited to meetings. Alice: Darryl's only social life was meetings. Dilbert: He didn't get to use his social skills for a few weeks, and apparently he lost them. Asok: Is it like he turned into a wolfman? Dilbert: Yes, except he's better at math. And he howls at the Internet, not the moon. Asok: Can we watch? Man: How-ooo can you blog that?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 2003's comic on:

Tags #network design, #local trees, #social skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Man; "I was an engineer before I got into marketing, so I have a few suggestions for your network design." man: "Get rid of this 'Cisco' doohickey, whatever it is, and put it in a catapult made from local trees." Dilbert: "Has it been awhile?" Man: "At least I have good social skills now, you dipweed.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2013's comic on:

Tags #dating, #engineers, #engineer, #excellent employment, #potential, #social skills, #relationships, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Hi. I'm an engineer. That means I have excellent employment potential and I can fix things around the house. Woman: How are your social skills? Dilbert: Wow. Look who wants the moon.

Tina Can't Compete With Smartphone

Thank you for voting.
Tina Can't Compete With Smartphone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2015's comic on:

Tags #conversation, #distraction, #attention, #technology, #stimulation, #frustration, #smart phone, #cell phone, #social, #socialization, #etiquette & ethics, #social skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I want to go to lunch. Dilbert: I don't see how that can work. Your conversation skills can't compete with the stimulation I can get from my smartphone and my smartwatch. Tina: I would scowl at you if I could get your attention. Dilbert: Ooh!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #co worker, #man, #attractive woman, #socializing, #dating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sees a co-worker whose hair stands straight up. Dilbert asks, "What's wrong with you?" The man replies, "I have A.W.S." Dilbert asks, "You have 'Attractive Woman Syndrome' HERE??" The man replies, "She was just hired." The man shouts, "Run!" The Boss approaches and says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to meet Liz." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh . . . My metabolism is increasing. My brain is suppressing what little social skills I have." The woman says, "Hi." Dilbert extends his hand and says, "It's a pleasure to meet me. I hope you never find a live turtle in your soup." Sweat flies off Dilbert's forehead. Dilbert covers his face with a piece of paper and thinks, "Aaagh! What was that supposed to mean??" Liz looks scared. The paper sticks to Dilbert's face and he thinks, "Oh great . . . The correction fluid wasn't dry. It's stuck to my eyebrows." Dilbert arrives at home with the document still stuck to his face. He asks Dogbert, "What can I do to stop frightening attractive women?" Dogbert replies, "That mask is a step in the right direction."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 1994's comic on:

Tags #aa meeting, #ratbert, #fear of computers, #technophobe, #wrong meeting, #alcoholics anonymous, #interupt, #elaborate excuses, #avoid computers, #web of deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: My name is Ratbert. I fear the information superhighway. Like most of you, my problem started because I never learned to type. I thought only secretaries needed to type. Then the computers came. At first I dismissed them as mere toys for men with no social skills. Soon they were everywhere. I would invent elaborate excuses to avoid computers. I was caught in my own web of deception. MAN: This is "alcoholics anonymous" Ratbert: I didn't interrupt you. Man: Can we talk about me now?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2007's comic on:

Tags #barbecue, #freinds, #no freinds, #make freinds, #jogger, #desparte, #meat, #social skills, #no social skills, #random, #Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Maybe I should invite some friends over for a barbecue. Dogbert: "You don't have any friends." Dilbert: "Good point. Maybe I should make some friends first." Dogbert: "Exactly." Dogbert:"Do you like meat?"

Improving Your Reputation At Work

Thank you for voting.
Improving Your Reputation At Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2015's comic on:

Tags #insult, #power, #socialization, #social skills, #Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: How can I improve my reputation at work? Wally: The easiest way is to make your co-workers look worse. Asok: Wouldn't they notice? Wally: You didn't.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2015's comic on:

Tags #catch-22, #compliment, #compliments, #insult, #insulting, #work ethic, #technical skills, #perfect attendance, #risk averse, #no social life, #irrational needs, #code writing puppet

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're a perfect employee in many ways. Dilbert: I am? Boss: For example, you have excellent technical skills. Dilbert: That's true. Boss: And your attendance is perfect. Dilbert: Yes, it is. Boss: And you are too risk-averse to quit and start your own company. Dilbert: What? Boss: Plus, you have no social life to interfere with work.Dilbert: Are these still compliments? Boss: Combine all of that with your irrational need for approval, and it makes you a code-writing puppet. Did I already say you're underpaid? Dilbert: Stop complimenting me!

Alice Uses Social Media

Thank you for voting.
Alice Uses Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2015's comic on:

Tags #social media, #twitter, #careers, #competition, #deception, #trick, #flame, #internet, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Well, Ted, it looks like you and I are competing for the same promotion. My plan is to use social media to make you look bad. Catbert: I fired Ted for trash-talking you on Twitter. Alice: I don't have a social media account and it still works!