No Visible Mouth Comic Strips
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100 Results for No Visible Mouth
View 1 - 10 results for no visible mouth comic strips. Discover the best "No Visible Mouth" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday July 29,
1996
Tags #supreme ruler, #universe, #next movie, #the show, #embraced you, #befor ehsow, #no visible mouth
Transcript
Dogbert appears on the "Larry King Live" show. Dogbert says into the microphone, "Larry, I'm here to announce my candidacy for Supreme Ruler of the Universe." Larry says, "That's funny! Tell us about your next movie, Sharon." Dogbert replies, "I'm not Sharon Stone. I said that to get on the show." Larry says, "So . . . When I embraced you before the show . . ." Dogbert says, "I think we're both glad I have no visible mouth."
Monday November 27,
1989
Thursday December 29,
1994
Tags #horse drink, #lead a horse to water, #stick a hose, #tape hose in mouth, #horse drink water
Transcript
Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the couch armrest. Dogbert says, "Remember the old saying, Ratbert: you can lead a horse to water . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . But by the time you got there you'd smell like a horse and your butt would hurt." Ratbert asks, "If you stuck a hose in a horse's mouth and taped it there, could you make the horse drink?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah, I've tried it."
Wednesday August 16,
1995
Tags #invisible to coworkers, #compensate, #symbiotic realtionship, #visible creature, #ratbert, #visual, #auditory link, #columbian coffee
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dilbert, "You're invisible to your co-workers. But you can compensate by forming a symbiotic relationship with a visible creature." Ratbert joins Dilbert and Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "Ratbert will cling to your back. He'll be your visual and auditory link with your co-workers." Ratbert is suspended in midair between Wally and Alice. Ratbert says to Wally, "So . . . working hard? Or hardly working?" Wally looks into his coffee mug and responds, "I KNEW this Colombian coffee was trouble."
Friday October 24,
1997
Tags #accident, #ask questions, #bury survivors, #dont embarrass boss, #highly visible, #meetings, #put them in trunk, #promoted
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dogbert says, "If you want to be promoted, you have to be highly visible." Dogbert says, "Ask questions at meetings. But make them easy so you don't embarrass your boss." Dilbert is in a meeting with Wally and the Boss. Dilbert says, "...So if there's an accident in a company car, where should we bury the survivors?" The Boss says, "I usually put them in the trunk."
Monday November 27,
2000
Tags #cpr dummy, #lie on back, #mouth open, #your help
Transcript
Catbert says to Wally, "Wally, we can't find our CPR dummy. I need your help." Wally asks, "Finding it?" Catbert says to Wally, "Yes. Assuming you can do that while lying on your back with your mouth open."
Tuesday January 07,
2003
Tags #eat, #headquarters, #misunderstand, #mouth, #need shreded, #shredder
Transcript
The Boss: all shredders are nbeing centralized at our corporate headquarters. If you need something shredded, give it to ask. Dilbert: dude, I think he meant you would take it to the shredders. Asok: mouth....so...dry
Saturday August 20,
2005
Tags #window facing cubicle, #available, #printer papaer, #free trip, #vendor, #sunlight, #bleach, #visible wood
Transcript
A prestigious window-facing cubicle has just become available. "It'll be a perfect place to store all the printer paper I bought so I could win a free trip from the paper vendor." "And maybe the sunlight wll bleach out the visible wood chips."
Friday October 14,
2005
Tags #total sales, #package of software, #engaged in piract, #tiny frisbee, #leap in air, #mouth
Transcript
"Our total sales to Elbonia are one package of software." "That can only mean that they're engaged in massive software piracy." "When I toss the tiny Frisbee (TM), you leap in the air and catch it in your mouth." "You first."
Friday October 01,
2010
Tags #marketing, #meeting, #big mouth, #open, #stupid, #product, #guess, #business
Transcript
Man says, "Our marketing campaign depends on a word of mouth. Unfortunately, our product is bad." Man says, "So we found a guy with poor judgment and a huge mouth to say good things." Man 2 says, "Present." Dilbert says, "Marketing isn't a real thing, is it?" Man says, "It's mostly guessing."