Non Standard Cell Phone Comic Strips
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588 Results for Non Standard Cell Phone
View 1 - 10 results for non standard cell phone comic strips. Discover the best "Non Standard Cell Phone" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday May 28,
2008
Tags #home lap top, #non standard cell phone, #elastic underpants, #trapped, #snagged, #clothes, #rigged, #office
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My only hope for productivity is to smuggle in my home laptop" CLAMP CLAMP CLAMP Mordac says, "Now hand over the non-standard cell phone you keep in the elastic of your underpants."
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Tuesday April 07,
1998
Tags #jordan preventer of information services, #confiscate non standard computer, #heavier, #disable it
Transcript
Mordac introduces himself to Wally, "I am Mordac, the preventer of information services. I come to confiscate your non-standard computer." Wally asks, "You'll give me a new one, right?" Mordac takes the computer and says, "This is heavier than it looks." Mordac starts to hammer the computer and says, "I'll have to disable it and leave it here." Wally asks, "The new one is already on its way, right?"
Wednesday April 08,
1998
Tags #request denied, #information servvces, #non standard computers, #replacement, #discard the old one, #trash declined, #no computers
Transcript
Man tells Wally, "Request denied. The information services department does not upgrade non-standard computers." Wally says, "It's not an upgrade. It's a replacement." Man says, "Our policy is that it's an upgrade unless you discard the old one." Trash man tells Wally, "Your trash is declined. Our policy is 'no computers'."
Sunday March 05,
2000
Tags #new personlaity, #non standard, #approved corporate personalities, #sycophants glad hander, #sadist, #prima donna, #empty suit, #whining misfit, #spec sheet, #dialoque
Transcript
Caption reads: "Catbert, evil H.R. Director." Catbert is sitting behind a desk in a throne-like chair. He tells Dilbert, who is sitting in a very small chair: "We've decided to give you a new personality." Dilbert is surprised: "What! Why?" Catbert explains: "You're current personality is non-standard." He continues: "You must choose one of the approved corporate personalities." Catbert presents the options: "The choices are sycophant, glad-hander, sadist, quantoid, prima donna, empty suit, or whining misfit." Dilbert says: "Empty suit sounds interesting." Catbert says: "Excellent choice. Here's the Spec Sheet." Wally asks Dilbert about the meeting: "How did it go?" Dilbert answers, reading from the Spec Sheet: "Same ol' Same ol'. You got that right!"
Saturday June 22,
2002
Tags #cell phone, #one ear, #email, #instant message, #pager, #messages, #boss comes in, #work stories, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dilbert says, "I had my cell phone at one ear and my regular phone at the other." Dilbert continues, "I'm reading e-mail, sending instant messages, my pager is vibrating, and my boss comes in!" Dogbert says, "You know what makes your work stories fascinating?" Dilbert asks. "What?" Dogbert continues, "Nothing."
Wednesday March 12,
2003
Tags #cell phone not working, #short range, #same room, #tv remote control
Transcript
The Boss stops Wally and Dilbert in the hallway and asks, "Why isn't my cell phone working?" Dilbert responds, "That's a short-range cell phone. You need to be in the same room with the person you call." The Boss, Asok, and Alice are sitting. The Boss has his phone up to his ear. He thinks, "Answer the stinkin' phone, Alice." Asok asks, "Why are listening to a TV remote control?"
Friday July 04,
2003
Tags #alice, #cell phone, #every two minutes, #flushable, #owner wonders where, #technology
Transcript
Alice is sitting in her cubicle. On the other side of the wall, a cell phone makes the noises, "Beep-beep-a-beep-beep-a-beep." Alice thinks, "Every two minutes." Alice looks into the next cubicle and and clenches her teeth at the cell phone lying there. A coworker approaches Alice and asks, "Have you seen my cell phone?" Alice responds, "Was it metallic, noisy and flushable?"
Tuesday January 06,
2004
Tags #cell phone bill, #expense, #award, #speech, #lost cell phone, #low bill, #company phone
Transcript
"The expense cutters award goes to Wally for drastically lowering his cell phone bill." "Wally, would you like to say a few words to the group?" "I lost my phone last month. Hey, thanks for the hundred dollars!"
Tuesday August 10,
2004
Tags #point haired boss, #throw desk, #off biliding, #cell phone, #bad connection, #carry desk, #roof, #thrown, #happy, #technology
Transcript
"Are you sure that our pointy-haired boss said to throw his desk off the building?" "Well, his cell phone had a really bad connection." "Do you care?" "Not so much."
Monday July 18,
2005
Tags #cell phone network, #illegal compnent, #bribe, #nuclear weapon, #add flavor
Transcript
"Your bid to build our cell phone network is the lowest by far." "But I'd feel more comfortable if it had an illegal component." "Like a bribe? Or helping you build a nuclear weapon?" "Yes, just something to add flavor."