Non Work Related Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Non Work Related
View 1 - 10 results for non work related comic strips. Discover the best "Non Work Related" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday June 21,
2008
Tags #monitor actions, #cameras, #strapped to head, #non work related, #attach sensors, #track thoughts, #engineers, #lab assistant
Transcript
Catbert says, "We monitor all of your actions, but we suspect you are still doing non-work-related thinking." Catbert says, "My lab assistant Trixie will attach sensors to your head and track all of your thoughts." The computer screen says, "Mmm... Trixie, wear this while you wash my electric car." Trixie thinks, "Engineers."
Saturday July 07,
2001
Tags #unibrow, #growing one, #ban, #work related converstaion, #lunch time, #break room
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally sit with Asok the Intern at the break room table eating lunch. Asok says, "I'm thinking about growing a unibrow." Dilbert, Wally and Asok sit quietly for a moment. Dilbert says, "Maybe we should rethink our ban on work-related conversation during lunch." Asok says, "Please."
Wednesday February 27,
2002
Tags #first week, #never do work, #non work, #tasks, #thinking, #wally period, #wally week, #want week
Transcript
Wally says to Asok, "The first week after getting an assignment is called 'The Wally Period.' Wally continues, "Never do work during the Wally period because most tasks become unnecessary within seven days." Asok exclaims, "I want a period named after me!" Wally replies, "Whoa, Asok. That takes many years of non-work."
Sunday December 12,
2004
Tags #cubicle vampire, #happy coowrkers, #in search of, #talk, #work related issues, #life drained, #gut instinct, #you're hire
Transcript
Job interview "What's your biggest weakness." "I'm a cubicle vampire." "I wander the cubicles in search of happy coworkers." "Then I pounce!" "Then you suck their blood?" "That was the old way." "I talk about work-related issues until the life is drained from their bodies." "I'm going to trust my gut instinct on this. You're hired." "Have you met the new hire yet?"
Saturday June 28,
2014
Tags #wounds & injuries, #work related injury, #year off, #with pay, #drinking coffee, #listening to podcast, #personal, #butt hurts, #kill, #murder, #surfing internet
Transcript
Wally: I have a work-related injury, so I need a year off with pay. Catbert: What happened? Wally: I was drinking coffee and listening to a podcast while surfing the Internet for personal reasons. Now my buttocks hurt. Catbert: I think I'm within my rights to kill you.
Monday October 27,
2003
Tags #lunch time, #barely came late, #work, #eat, #plaumbing, #read apaper, #non urgency, #moring at offcie, #slacker, #stale job
Transcript
"Are you going to lunch?" "Lunch already?" "Sheesh! I barely had time to come late to work, eat breakfast, use the plumbing and read the paper." "You take your non-work seriously." "I'm trying to develop a sense of non-urgency."
Monday June 10,
2002
Tags #conversations banned, #talk about work, #applies work hours, #home, #Family, #sleeping, #harsh rules, #evil director, #human resources, #business
Transcript
Headline: To: Employees From: Catbert. Catbert types, "All non-work conversations are banned." Catbert continues typing, "From now on you're only allowed to talk about work." An employee is eating dinner at home with his family. All of his children are asleep at the table. His wife says, "I think it only applies during work hours." The employee responds, "I can't take that chance."
Monday February 08,
2016
Employee Hat With Sensors
Tags #mind control, #thoughts, #police, #policing, #work ethic, #leisure, #daydreaming, #control, #surveillance, #legal
Transcript
Boss: The sensors in your employee hat tell me you are not having work-related thoughts. I have to dock your pay for all of that leisure time you try to sneak into your workday. Here's a screen shot of what you've been thinking. Dilbert: I'm going to remember this as a bad day.
Friday September 15,
1995
Tags #time sheet, #increments, #15 minutes, #meetings, #shower time thinking, #designing circuits, #complaining
Transcript
Dilbert hands his timesheet to a secretary and says, "Here's my timesheet, filled out in increments of fifteen minutes." Dilbert says, "As usual, I coded the useless hours spent in meetings as 'work,' whereas the time I spent in the shower designing circuits in my mind as 'non-work.'" Dilbert continues, "Interestingly, even the time I spend complaining about my lack of productivity is considered 'work.'" The secretary thinks, "I hate my life."
Monday December 10,
2007
Tags #death, #reincarnation, #snicker part, #half man, #half snack, #studied guided reincarnation, #shape shifting, #indian institute, #technology, #medical
Transcript
Dilbert: "Asok died in a work-related accident. His disaster recovery plan was to reincarnate into his own clone." "You are his clone, but your DNA got mixed up with a snickers bar. You are doomed to walk the earth as half man, half snack." "Rrrrr" Asok: "Phew! It is lucky I studied guided reincarnation and advanced shape-shifting at the Indian Institute of Technology."