Nonsense Comic Strips
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32 Results for Nonsense
View 1 - 10 results for nonsense comic strips. Discover the best "Nonsense" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 23,
2021
Simulation Nonsense
Tags business, computer, computer software, days, fast, nonsense, ruin, simulation, technology, upgrade, coffee
Transcript
tina: it feels as if the days are going by faster lately. dilbert: that's because we're a computer simulation that just got a software upgrade. tina: there's really nothing you can't ruin with that nonsense, is there? dilbert: i hear that a lot.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday January 05,
1992
Tags Dogbert, Entertainment, thanks, babysit, doggie bert, bret, impressionable, years, innocent, adult, nonsense, parents, space, aliens, eat, slaughter, house, kindergarten, change, probably
Transcript
A man and woman say to Dogbert, "Thanks for agreeing to baby-sit, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "No sweat." A baby says, "Doggie-Bert!" Dogbert says, "Sit down, Bret." Dogbert and the infant sit on the floor. Dogbert says, "You're in your most innocent and impressionable years." Dogbert continues, "As an adult, it is my duty to fill your sponge-like brain with incredible nonsense for my own entertainment." Dogbert continues, "Your parents are really space aliens." The baby looks frightened. Dogbert continues, "They're just fattening you up so they can eat you!" Dogbert continues, "The slaughterhouse is a place they call kindergarten!!" The father hands Dogbert his money and says, "Thanks, Dogbert. Did you change him?" Dogbert replies, "Probably."
Saturday November 01,
1997
Tags manger training, comment, contain nonsense, implementation
Transcript
The instructor says, "You will often be asked to comment on things you don't understand." The instructor draws a large question mark on a tablet with a marker. The instructor says, "These handouts contain nonsense phrases that can be used in any situation. The Boss and the other pointy-haired managers take the papers. In a meeting with Wally and Dilbert, the Boss says, "...So, let's dominate our industry... with quality implementation of methodologies." Wally says, "I'll get right on it."
Thursday April 18,
2013
Tags conversation, deception, political reasons, irrational nonsense, filter
Transcript
Boss: Your plan is technically sound, but I have to reject it for political reasons I can't share. Dilbert: I'll come back with some plans that are irrational nonsense and see if they make it past your filter. Boss: I'll always wonder if there was a better way to handle that.
Sunday December 20,
2015
Tags jargon, techspeak, nonsense, bluff, deception, conversation, language
Transcript
Boss: Wally, did you Uberize the slide deck? Wally: I harmonized it in the cloud. Boss: Are we ready for a trans-domain kick-off? Wally: I put a disruptive mesh network in the microservices of the Internet of things. Boss: Will that be good enough to "ask the fridge" or do I need to start disintermediating? Wally: It depends on if we have enough bandwidth to growth-hack the analytics. Boss: I just hope our clicks-and-mortar strategy staircases. Dilbert: I'm almost certain that was nonsense. Wally: Sometimes it's about the journey.
Friday July 01,
2016
Wally's Useless Nonsense
Tags laziness, work ethic, strategy
Transcript
Catbert: There's a rumor that you use a chatbot to reply to email with useless nonsense. Wally: You can't prove that because I've always answered my email with useless nonsense. Catbert: That was disturbingly well-played. Wally: It's all about creating the base case.
Monday August 22,
2005
Tags nonsense, no questions, no time
Transcript
The Boss: "Aha! Just the person I need." "Meet with the LDC and make sure the MRT gets URPed when the RFIT gets NERKed to the ORCAT." "If you have any questions, I don't have time for that sort of thing."
Thursday March 23,
2006
Tags art, modern art, nonsense, taste, culture
Transcript
Famous artist Dogberto will tell us his plans for our lobby. "I plan to buy a drop cloth at Home Depot and drape it over the security desk." "Won't that be hard on the guard?" "Not until I douse it with gas and light it."
Saturday September 09,
2006
Tuesday November 20,
2012
Tags prosperity, persistence, key to success, know when to quit, contardcitory, flexibilty
Transcript
Boss: Persistence is the key to success. The other key to success is knowing when to quit. Dilbert: Your advice is contradictory nonsense. Boss: Because flexibility is the key to success.


