Normal Scope Comic Strips
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70 Results for Normal Scope
View 1 - 10 results for normal scope comic strips. Discover the best "Normal Scope" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 19,
2003
Tags #despartment, #normal scope, #over loaded, #flexible, #client driven, #outside of scope, #avoid projects, #cheerfully accept assignments
Transcript
A business associate asks The Boss, "Can your department do this for us?" The Boss responds, "No problem." The business associate says, "Really? It's outside of your normal scope of work and I know you're over-loaded." The Boss exclaims, "We're a flexible, client-driven organization!" Asok asks Wally, "Wally, how can I avoid projects that are outside of my scope of responsibility?" Wally responds, "Cheerfully accept the assignments and then never work on them." Wally continues, "It bolsters your claims of being overloaded while leaving you free for work that matters." Asok asks, "Work matters?" Wally replies, "Well, not to us." The Boss hands Asok an assignment and says, "I'm not even sure what they want." Asok responds, "I'll start ignoring it immediately."
Thursday February 27,
2020
Ceo Is Like Normal People
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #office environment, #cubicle, #work, #normal, #people, #respect, #stupid
Transcript
ceo: even though i am you ceo, i work out of a cubicle just like normal people. you probably respect that. alice: no, it sounds stupid. ceo: then why am i torturing myself in that putrid cubicle? alice: see prior answer.
Wednesday February 23,
2011
Tags #contracts, #lawyers, #surgery, #software server, #too confusing, #normal human, #comprehension, #cost eefective, #involve atorneys, #deal so small, #medical
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Your software services contract is too confusing for any normal human to comprehend." Dilbert says, "And it wouldn't be cost- effective to involve our attorneys for a deal so small." Dilbert says, "So I'll just take chance and sign it." Man says, "Doc... scrub in. I got the liver."
Wednesday January 04,
2012
Tags #suspicion, #thinking, #new information, #project scope, #anticipate, #think
Transcript
Dilbert: Based on this new information, you'll want to change our project scope. Boss: I don't do that. Dilbert: What? Think? Today I learned it's better if I don't try to guess what people mean.
Thursday January 25,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #dying, #smart, #pap smear, #normal
Transcript
A doctor says to Dilbert, "It seems we had a mix-up with your test results." Dilbert asks, "Then I'm not dying?" The doctor replies, "We doctors are amazingly smart, but occasionally we make a little error." Dilbert says, "Well . . . I understand." The physician looks at a chart and says, "By the way, your pap smear was normal."
Tuesday June 25,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #chosen, #lunch, #executive, #office, #smarter, #nice, #normal, #glass ceiling
Transcript
The caption says, "Dilbert is chosen to have lunch with an executive." Dilbert sits at the table wearing a suit jacket. The executive says, "I want you to know that I'm just a normal guy . . ." The executive continues, "Oh, sure, I make a little more money, and I have a nice office . . ." The executive continues, "And of course, I'm much, much smarter."
Tuesday October 20,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #doctor, #whacks, #knee, #patient, #crime, #society, #fault, #raise, #taxes, #feed, #poor, #stop, #nuclear, #research, #liberal, #normal, #life, #annoying, #parties
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a stool holding a reflex hammer. He says to the patient on the examining table, "Hold still while Doctor Dogbert whacks your knee." As Dogbert taps his knee, the man says, "Aak . . . Crime is society's fault . . . Raise taxes to feed the poor . . . Stop nuclear research . . . Save the . . ." The man covers his mouth. Dogbert says, "Apparently you're a knee-jerk liberal. You can live a normal life but you'll be annoying at parties."
Monday November 23,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #elbonians, #persecuted, #centuries, #righties, #arbitrary, #distinction, #matter, #hand, #favor, #thick, #normal
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table with two Elbonians. One Elbonian says, "We left-handed Elbonians have been persecuted for centuries. We must crush the righties!" Dilbert asks, "Don't you see that it's only an arbitrary distinction? Isn't it obvious that people are the same no matter what hand they favor?" The Elbonian replies, "No, that isn't obvious to us at all." Dilbert waves his right hand and says, "Geez, you lefties are thick. I'm glad I'M normal."
Wednesday May 19,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #date, #men and women, #dating, #twins, #telepath, #normal, #thoughts, #guy
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a two-headed woman. Dilbert says, "Believe it or not, this is the first time I've ever dated a two-headed telepath." The women look frightened. Dilbert says, "You might pick up a strange thought or two, but believe me, these are normal thoughts for a guy . . ." Dilbert says, "Well, maybe not that last one . . ." The woman grabs the tablecloth and looks shocked.
Monday May 05,
1997
Tags #calculated, #total time, #humans wait, #web pages, #information age, #big plot, #web is plot, #normal society
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the couch. Dilbert says, "I calculated the total time that humans have waited for Web pages to load . . ." Dilbert continues, "It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age." Dilbert says, "Sometimes I think the Web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society." Dogbert thinks, "Uh-oh, he's on to me."