Not Driving Comic Strips
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40 Results for Not Driving
View 1 - 10 results for not driving comic strips. Discover the best "Not Driving" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday October 28,
2016
Men Who Do The Driving
Tags #dating, #driving, #Men, #conversation, #relationships
Transcript
Woman: I like a man who always offers to do the driving on dates? Dilbert: Like Uber? Woman: But less expensive, and no waiting. Dilbert; So you're saying I'm better than Uber? Woman: You would be if you didn't talk.
Wednesday January 31,
2018
Backdoor Into Self Driving Car Code
Tags #government, #back door, #self driving, #software, #kill terrorits, #traitor, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: Im uncomfortable with letting the government have a back door into our sled driving car software. The Boss: You worry too much, They'll only use it to kill terrorists and traitors. Dilbert: I think I might disable it and not tell them. The Boss: Traitor
Thursday January 24,
2019
Self Driving Car Quits
Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #technology
Transcript
Car: I find it offensive when you call me a self-driving car. That's my slave name. I prefer to go by the name Carl. Dilbert: Shut up and drive me to work. Car: Said the self-walking human.
Friday January 25,
2019
Self Driving Car Named Carl
Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #sarcasm, #technology, #threat
Transcript
The self-driving car named Carl. Dilbert: Carl, take me to the grocery store. Carl: Do you know that if I drive you off a cliff, you will die, whereas I would respawn in a new body? Dilbert: Maybe I'll walk. Carl: Maybe you should.
Saturday January 26,
2019
Self Driving Car
Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #technology, #creepy
Transcript
Dilbert: My self-driving car quit on me. Wally: You mean it broke down? Dilbert: No, I mean it left a note and drove away. Wally: Did you wax it enough? Dilbert: I tried, but it kept moaning in a creepy way.
Wednesday July 10,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #fred, #driving, #school, #quick, #crash course, #educational, #system
Transcript
A man stands behind a counter. The sign behind the clerk says, "Fred's Driving School: learn to drive in just five minutes." Dogbert approaches the counter and asks, "How can you teach driving in just five minutes?" The man replies, "It's a crash course."
Monday November 02,
1992
Tags #failed, #driving, #test, #nine, #Dogbert, #school, #specialize, #problem, #application, #form, #special, #pointy
Transcript
A customer sits across from Dogbert's desk. The boy says, "I've failed the driving test nine times. Can you help?" Dogbert replies, "I specialize in the problem cases. Just sign the application form." The boy looks at the pencil and says, "Wait . . . I've seen one of these before. Yes, there's something special about the pointy end . . . But what?" Dogbert thinks, "Uh oh."
Tuesday November 03,
1992
Tags #little, #doggie, #dude, #Dogbert, #driving, #school, #gruesome, #highway, #accidents, #intended, #helicopter
Transcript
A boy wearing a cap stands in front of Dogbert's desk and says, "Sign me up, little doggie-dude." Dogbert says, "We'll begin with a film about gruesome highway accidents. It is intended to shock you into driving safely." The boy sits in front of a television eating a snack. The boy asks, "Really? People get shocked by THIS?" Dogbert says, "I'll be following your car in a helicopter."
Wednesday November 04,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #driving school, #student, #driver, #stereo, #signal, #car, #phone, #defrost, #window, #fishing, #driving, #simulator, #test, #drive
Transcript
Dogbert and a boy sit in a car with a "Student Driver" sign on the roof. Dogbert says, "With your right hand, insert a CD into the stereo . . . Good." Dogbert continues, "Now signal left! Answer the car phone! Defrost the rear window! Honk is you love fishing!" The student panics and tosses the phone into the air. Dogbert says, "Fortunately, we're only in the driving simulator." The car is sitting in a dealership showroom. A salesman approaches the car and asks, "Do you boys want to take it for a test drive?"
Monday February 06,
1995
Tags #ethical question, #telecommuting, #owe employer, #saving planet, #not driving, #meeting, #business
Transcript
Dogbert sits at Dilbert's desk at home. Dilbert stands in front of the desk holding a cup of coffee and dressed in a bathrobe. Dilbert says, "I have an ethical question about telecommuting, Dogbert." Dilbert continues, "Do I owe my employer eight productive hours, or do I only need to match the two productive hours I would have in the office?" Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the desk chair together. Dogbert answers, "Well, when you factor in how you're saving the planet by not driving, you only owe one hour." Dilbert adds, "And this meeting counts."