Not Driving Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

40 Results for Not Driving

View 1 - 10 results for not driving comic strips. Discover the best "Not Driving" comics from Dilbert.com.

Men Who Do The Driving

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Men Who Do The Driving - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #driving, #Men, #conversation, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I like a man who always offers to do the driving on dates? Dilbert: Like Uber? Woman: But less expensive, and no waiting. Dilbert; So you're saying I'm better than Uber? Woman: You would be if you didn't talk.

View more books now

Backdoor Into Self Driving Car Code

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Backdoor Into Self Driving Car Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #government, #back door, #self driving, #software, #kill terrorits, #traitor, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Im uncomfortable with letting the government have a back door into our sled driving car software. The Boss: You worry too much, They'll only use it to kill terrorists and traitors. Dilbert: I think I might disable it and not tell them. The Boss: Traitor

Self Driving Car Quits

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Self Driving Car Quits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Car: I find it offensive when you call me a self-driving car. That's my slave name. I prefer to go by the name Carl. Dilbert: Shut up and drive me to work. Car: Said the self-walking human.

Self Driving Car Named Carl

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Self Driving Car Named Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #sarcasm, #technology, #threat

View Transcript

Transcript

The self-driving car named Carl. Dilbert: Carl, take me to the grocery store. Carl: Do you know that if I drive you off a cliff, you will die, whereas I would respawn in a new body? Dilbert: Maybe I'll walk. Carl: Maybe you should.

Self Driving Car

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Self Driving Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #technology, #creepy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My self-driving car quit on me. Wally: You mean it broke down? Dilbert: No, I mean it left a note and drove away. Wally: Did you wax it enough? Dilbert: I tried, but it kept moaning in a creepy way.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #fred, #driving, #school, #quick, #crash course, #educational, #system

View Transcript

Transcript

A man stands behind a counter. The sign behind the clerk says, "Fred's Driving School: learn to drive in just five minutes." Dogbert approaches the counter and asks, "How can you teach driving in just five minutes?" The man replies, "It's a crash course."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failed, #driving, #test, #nine, #Dogbert, #school, #specialize, #problem, #application, #form, #special, #pointy

View Transcript

Transcript

A customer sits across from Dogbert's desk. The boy says, "I've failed the driving test nine times. Can you help?" Dogbert replies, "I specialize in the problem cases. Just sign the application form." The boy looks at the pencil and says, "Wait . . . I've seen one of these before. Yes, there's something special about the pointy end . . . But what?" Dogbert thinks, "Uh oh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #little, #doggie, #dude, #Dogbert, #driving, #school, #gruesome, #highway, #accidents, #intended, #helicopter

View Transcript

Transcript

A boy wearing a cap stands in front of Dogbert's desk and says, "Sign me up, little doggie-dude." Dogbert says, "We'll begin with a film about gruesome highway accidents. It is intended to shock you into driving safely." The boy sits in front of a television eating a snack. The boy asks, "Really? People get shocked by THIS?" Dogbert says, "I'll be following your car in a helicopter."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #driving school, #student, #driver, #stereo, #signal, #car, #phone, #defrost, #window, #fishing, #driving, #simulator, #test, #drive

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and a boy sit in a car with a "Student Driver" sign on the roof. Dogbert says, "With your right hand, insert a CD into the stereo . . . Good." Dogbert continues, "Now signal left! Answer the car phone! Defrost the rear window! Honk is you love fishing!" The student panics and tosses the phone into the air. Dogbert says, "Fortunately, we're only in the driving simulator." The car is sitting in a dealership showroom. A salesman approaches the car and asks, "Do you boys want to take it for a test drive?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ethical question, #telecommuting, #owe employer, #saving planet, #not driving, #meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at Dilbert's desk at home. Dilbert stands in front of the desk holding a cup of coffee and dressed in a bathrobe. Dilbert says, "I have an ethical question about telecommuting, Dogbert." Dilbert continues, "Do I owe my employer eight productive hours, or do I only need to match the two productive hours I would have in the office?" Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the desk chair together. Dogbert answers, "Well, when you factor in how you're saving the planet by not driving, you only owe one hour." Dilbert adds, "And this meeting counts."