Not Going To Change Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

793 Results for Not Going To Change

View 1 - 10 results for not going to change comic strips. Discover the best "Not Going To Change" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career counselor, #no marketable talent, #keep positive, #not going to change, #unemployable

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, career counselor DOgbert: "You have no marketable talent." "You're totally unemployable and that's not going to change." "The important thing is to keep a positive attitude."

View more books now

Blaming Climate Change

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Blaming Climate Change - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #support, #calls, #product, #flaw, #climate, #change, #Environment

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: how are the tech support calls going? dogbert: great. i'm blaming all of our product flaws on climate change, and people are totally buying it. dilbert: that doesn't make sense. dogbert: you'd be surprised how little that matters.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #auto service, #question, #change oil, #new oil, #second, #option

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert enters an auto service store and says to an auto mechanic, "Just a quick question: is is necessary to change my oil . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . Or can I just keep letting it run dry and then add new oil?" The car mechanic looks shocked. The mechanic screams and falls to the ground. Dilbert looks at the reader and says, "I think the answer is going to be 'no' to that second option."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #afraid of change, #operation, #someone listened to you, #gender change, #move to china

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and a male co-worker are listening to The Boss. The Boss says, "Don't be afraid of change." The Boss listens as the male co-worker stands up and says, "You're right! I'm going to get a gender change operation and move to China!" Wally says to The Boss, "I've always wondered what would happen if someone listened to you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #transformational change, #feel different, #nauseas felling, #going to hurl, #change feels like

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our differentiating value-added strategy is transformational change. "How was that? Does anyone feel different?" Alice: "My urge to hurl was increased a little bit." The Boss: "That's what change feels like."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #irony, #meeting, #ceo visits, #change focus, #make good prodcuts, #pretending solvency, #hologram, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The CEO visits CEO: We're going to change our focus... from pretending to make good products, to pretending to be solvent. On a related note, I've always been a hologram.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #technology problem, #executive attention netowrk, #social awareness, #radical change, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have to warn you that I'll be going deep on a technology problem today. I'll be using the executive attention network of my brain at the expense of my social awareness. Boss: Sounds like a radical change. Dilbert: I can't tell if that was sarcasm.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #questioning, #shopping, #hardware, #powerpoint deck, #boss, #ambiguity, #mumbling, #change subject, #badger for answer, #too many questions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can you look at this bid and let me know if I can order the hardware? Boss: yes. Dilbert: Are you saying yes I can order the hardware, or yes you'll look at it? Boss: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: What? Boss: I need your input on my Powerpoint deck. Dilbert: So far, in response to my request, you've given me ambiguity, mumbling, and a change of subject. Would you prefer that I badger you for an answer until you get angry, or should I return to my cubicle and resume being ineffective? Boss: You ask too many questions.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #commerce, #credit, #forbidden knowledge, #change to dotted lines, #made of ink

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Change all of the lines to dotted. We're not made of ink. Dilbert: Why'd I just get chills? Boss: Me too. It feels like some sort of forbidden knowledge.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #employees, #executives, #on line class, #develop charisma, #change the world, #die from stree, #health issues, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm taking an online class to develop my charisma. Dilbert: Let's see a sample. Boss: Do what I say and you can change the world while you die from stress-related health issues! That felt right. Dilbert: You nailed it.