Not Just Manager Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Not Just Manager
View 1 - 10 results for not just manager comic strips. Discover the best "Not Just Manager" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 10,
1994
Tags #no raises, #no promotions, #mathematical certainty, #inflation, #pooer, #uncertainty, #leader, #not just manager
Transcript
The Boss: "The company has announced there will be no raises or promotions this year." "Now, there's a mathematical certainty that no matter how hard you work, inflation will make you poorer." Dilbert: "I hated the old way, with all the uncertainty." The Boss: "I'm not just a manager, I'm a leader!"
Tuesday August 04,
1992
Tags #office workers, #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #understand, #sleep, #sleep deprivation, #Food, #starve, #artificial, #deadline, #ergle, #flumg, #muddle brained, #incomprehensible, #division, #manager
Transcript
The Boss says to Tim, "I understand you've been going without sleep or food for days just to meet some artificial deadline." Tim mumbles incoherently. The Boss continues, "As a result, your work has been muddle-brained and incomprehensible. You leave me no choice, Tim." Wally says to Dilbert, "Tim got promoted to division manager." Dilbert replies, "I wonder if he knows it."
Monday December 14,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #transferred, #assignments, #management, #yanking, #chain, #over-communicating, #manager, #sales
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, you're being temporarily transferred to the field sales organization." The Boss continues, "Normally we use these assignments to round somebody out for management. But in this case I'm just yanking your chain!" Dilbert says, "You're over-communicating again, sir." The Boss continues, "Plus, I hate the manager of sales."
Saturday January 06,
1996
Tags #manager ted, #planned better, #pushed down stairs, #soul left body, #evil entity, #performance reviews
Transcript
The Boss pokes his head into Ted's office and asks, "How do you like being a manager, Ted?" Ted replies, "Yesterday my staff pushed me down ten flights of stairs. My soul left my body and now I'm a lifeless evil entity." The Boss says, "Just in time to do performance reviews!" Ted responds, "I couldn't have planned it better."
Sunday November 13,
1994
Tags #promote district manager, #technical knowledge, #valuable, #no promotions, #promote al, #no knowledge al, #grumpy
Transcript
The Boss stands in front of Alice, Dilbert and Al. He says, "I need to promote one of you to the district manager position." Dilbert, Al and Alice look at the Boss. The Boss says, "Dilbert, your technical knowledge is too valuable to lose." The Boss continues, "Ditto for Alice. Neither of you can be promoted." Dilbert and Alice look angry. The Boss says, "The only logical choice is to promote Al because he has no valuable knowledge." Dilbert replies, "Al??! A director??! He doesn't know what day of the week it is!! The Boss tells Al, "They're just grumpy because it's Monday." Dilbert says, "It's Thursday."
Sunday September 10,
1995
Tags #best manager, #project goosefood, #hired jack, #brief jack, #no budget, #no support, #global information network, #failure certain, #industry, #disgarce, #hired, #competitors
Transcript
The Boss introduces a man to Dilbert and Wally. The Boss says, "We just hired Jack away from our competitor. He was their best manager." The Boss continues, "Jack will be in charge of project 'Goosefood.'" The Boss continues, "I'd like you two to brief Jack on the project." Jack, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Project 'Goosefood' has no budget and no management support." Wally says, "Your job is to build a global information network in two weeks." Dilbert says, "Failure is certain. Soon you will leave the industry in disgrace." Wally adds, ". . . Just like the other 'best managers' we hired from our competitors." Jack says, "Just our of curiosity, how did the project get its name?" Wally replies, "Let's just say that you're the goose food . . ."
Tuesday December 14,
1999
Tags #being a manager, #less condescending, #wrong, #performance evaluation, #laughter, #Catbert, #boss
Transcript
The boss is sitting in his office and Catbert is sitting on the boss's desk. Catbert says to the boss:"Being a manager means never having to be less condescending just because you're wrong." Both Catbert and the boss laugh out loud: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha" Carol is sitting at her computer and Dilbert is standing behind her holding a folder. Dilbert says to Carol: "Did he finish my performance evaluation?" Carol answers: "I heard him working on it."
Monday March 01,
2004
Tags #too many managers, #aspect manager, #corproaret objective, #morale aspect, #bad coice, #dread
Transcript
CEO: "We have too many managers, so I'm making you an aspect manager." "You'll be in charge of one aspect of a corporate objective." The Boss: "Please just fire me." CEO: "Your aspect will be morale."
Monday February 05,
2007
Tags #apply for opening, #manager, #bonding, #compete for same job
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you mind if I apply for the opening in R&D? The Boss: Hey, I just applied for the manager job there? Dilbert: Um...maybe I'll wait. The Boss: To make sure I'll be your boss?" Dilbert: Ooo-kay... The Boss: This must be what bonding feels like."
Thursday November 22,
2012
Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #leader, #manager, #bad managers, #hinesty, #business
Transcript
Boss: I see myself as more of a leader than a manager. Catbert: That's what all bad managers say. I'm just being honest. Boss: That's what all jerks say.