Not Supposed To Say Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

916 Results for Not Supposed To Say

View 1 - 10 results for not supposed to say comic strips. Discover the best "Not Supposed To Say" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2003's comic on:

Tags #highest profit margin, #entire industry, #not supposed to say, #customers

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says in a meeting, "We have the highest profilt margin in our entire industy!" Alice leans over and whispers something to The Boss. The Boss says, "Apparently I'm not supposed to say that in front of customers."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 1995's comic on:

Tags #advertisingmaterials, #technical accuracy, #supposed to be funny, #technical help, #look up something, #dictionary, #engineers, #not comedians, #tech help, #picked colors

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss tells Wally and Dilbert, "I'd like you guys to check Anne's advertising materials for technical accuracy." Wally, Dilbert and Anne sit at a conference table. Wally reads the ad copy and asks, "Is this supposed to be funny?" Dilbert says, "I don't get it." Anne says, "I'm only looking for technical help here." Wally says, "Hey! Maybe you could say something about those warning tags on mattresses! Now THAT would be funny!" Anne covers her eyes and leans on the table. Dilbert says, "Or how about the fact that you can't look up something in the dictionary if you can't spell it? THAT's funny!" Anne stands up and screams, "You're engineers, not comedians!! I want TECHNICAL help!!!" Wally says, "This guy has an XP-6. It should be an XP-7." Anne says, "That's better." Wally adds, "And he should be saying, 'I've fallen and I can't get up.'" Dilbert asks, "Who picked these colors?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2011's comic on:

Tags #cruelty, #office workers, #mindless task, #intern, #time, #little value, #jump out, #nice way to say

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Asok, there's no nice way to say this... do this mindless task for me because you're nothing but an intern and your time has very little value. Asok: There probably was a nice way to say that. Dilbert: It didn't jump out.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2011's comic on:

Tags #couples, #dating, #play games, #guess the lie, #say 2 things, #dating games, #obvious things, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Let's play a game. We each say two things about ourselves and the other has to guess which one is a lie. Dilbert: I love to play games like that. My second thing is that I eat food.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 1989's comic on:

Tags #compliment, #office workers, #reaction

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dilbert says, "Alice brought her new baby to the office today." Dilbert asks, "What are you supposed to say when somebody shows you a baby?" Dogbert replies, "'Precious' usually works." Dilbert says, "Judging from the reaction, 'bug-ugly' wasn't what she was looking for."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1994's comic on:

Tags #about co workers, #donuts, #get prompted, #say bad things, #weight, #woman, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

DOGBERT: If you want to get promoted , say bad things about co workers so you look better by comparison. Dilbert: Geez, Lisa, It looks like you've been hotting the donuts pretty hard lately. Dilbert: heh-hehe...big things are coming my way soon.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 1994's comic on:

Tags #ratbert, #birds and bees, #get stung, #birds, #humming bird, #sex with birds, #words to say

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: "Dogbert told me about the birds and the bees." "The bee part confuses me. It seems like I'd get stung." "And as for birds, I just wouldn't know the words to say." Dilbert: "Try a humming bird."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1996's comic on:

Tags #vice president, #marketing, #losing scruples, #valuable lesson, #fun to say scruples, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "I quit my job as vice president of marketing . . ." Ratbert continues, "I was losing my scruples . . . becoming unscrupulous. Yes, I learned a valuable lesson about scruples." Dilbert asks, "And that lesson would be?" Ratbert answers, "It's fun to say 'scruples.'"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 1997's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #invited to worthless meetings, #say no, #sense of self, #can't be bothered

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Dogbert, I need your help. I keep getting invited to worthless meetings and I can't say no." Dilbert continues, "YOU can say no to anything. You have such a clearly defined sense of self-interest." Dilbert asks, "Will you teach me to be like you?" Dogbert replies, "Nope . . . can't be bothered."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 1997's comic on:

Tags #work during vacation, #supposed to work, #concept, #empathy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Alice, who is dressed casually and sitting at her computer, "It's a shame you have to work during your vacation. The same thing happened to me." Alice says, "Really?" Wally explains, "Actually, in my case I went on vacation when I was supposed to be working. But the concept is the same." Wally walks up to Dilbert, his clothing ripped and dishevled and a cup stuck on his face. "Apparently she wasn't looking for empathy," Wally says.