Nothing About Job Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Nothing About Job
View 1 - 10 results for nothing about job comic strips. Discover the best "Nothing About Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 09,
2013
Tags #complaining, #happiness, #tasks, #people, #commute, #paid less, #nothing about job, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I like my job. But I don't like any of the tasks... or any of the people... I don't like the commute... and I'm paid less than I'm worth... and I'm not making the world a better place. Dogbert: Are you sure you like your job? Dilbert: Why do you ask?
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday June 01,
2001
Tags #no raise, #not enough questions, #meetings, #care about job, #thirst for knowledge, #likes wood
Transcript
Asok the Intern sits across from the Boss. The Boss says, "I can't give you a raise. You don't ask enough questions in meetings." The Boss continues, "Questions show that you care about your job and have a thirst for knowledge." Asok is seen at a staff meeting, hand raised, asking, "Who else likes wood?"
Wednesday June 22,
1994
Tags #job pays, #headhunter, #move, #cold place, #drivers license, #look up gender, #phone call, #man, #inquiring about job
Transcript
Dogbert the headhunter Dogbert: The job pays a hundred thousand. But you'll have to move to a place thats so cold that mercury freezes. Man: I'll take it. How bad could it be? Dogbert: Keep your drivers license on you is you can look up your gender if you forget
Monday May 20,
2013
Tags #coffee & tea, #double coffee, #success, #work ethic, #passion, #necessary
Transcript
Wally: I'm double-mugging because I heard that passion is necessary for success. By 4pm I'll be so passionate I'll be dating my chair. Catbert: Nothing about that sounded right.
Saturday June 18,
2016
Dilbert Doesn't Need Vacations
Tags #vacation, #work ethic, #workload, #time off
Transcript
Boss: Company policy says you have to take a vacation. Dilbert: I don't want one. I would be bored for a week and come back to all the work that piled up while I was gone. Boss: Nothing about you is normal. Dilbert: Thank you.
Wednesday August 17,
2016
A System For Transferring Mistakes
Tags #blame, #mistake, #boss, #review, #human resources, #revenge, #business
Transcript
Boss: Make sure we get all of the cost savings that our vendor promised with our new software. Dilbert: Those savings are not real. The vendor lied to you because you know nothing about technology. Boss: If only I had some way to turn my mistake into his mistake. Catbert: It's called a performance review.
Saturday August 26,
2017
Product Warning Is Too Long
Tags #technical writer, #instructions, #caution, #warning, #safety, #criticism
Transcript
Tina: My boss, who knows nothing about technical writing, told me to cut my 700-page product warning down to 500 pages. He doesn't appreciate my art. Dilbert: Sounds like both of you are idiots. Tina: This will go smoother if you stop talking.
Monday December 31,
2018
New Year Resolution
Tags #holidays, #new year, #sarcasm, #weight, #new year's resolutions
Transcript
Carol: Do you have any New Year's resolutions? Dilbert: I resolve to not make major decisions about my life based on random calendar dates. Carol: So...nothing about your weight? Dilbert: Worst holiday ever.
Sunday May 19,
2019
Tags #business, #email, #office workers, #project manager, #office, #liar, #photoshop
Transcript
office worker: why are you telling everyone my project got canceled? dilbert: i never said anything like that. office worker: you're such a liar. i saw your email to ted. dilbert: if i show you that email right now, and it says nothing about your project... will you admit you were wrong and humbly apologize to me? office worker: i don't think i can commit to that. dilbert: well, anyway, here it is, and you can plainly see you were wrong. office worker: this looks photo-shopped. dilbert: i don't see a winning path for me here.
Thursday April 30,
1998
Tags #overpaid, #do bad work, #Funny, #think about it, #terrible job, #job security
Transcript
Dogbert sitting next to Dilbert while he types on his computer. Dogbert says, "As a consultant, I'm overpaid even if I do bad work." Dogbert continues, "Whereas you're underpaid even if you do good work. It's funny if you think about it." Dilbert, while typing, replies, "I might have a terrible job, but at least I don't have any job security."