Obliterate Connection Comic Strips
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21 Results for Obliterate Connection
View 1 - 10 results for obliterate connection comic strips. Discover the best "Obliterate Connection" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 17,
2003
Tags #obliterate connection, #my perfromance, #my rewards, #3d objects
Transcript
The merger will obliterate the connection between my performance and rewards. My arms hang like wet ropes. there is no reason to move again. Dilbert: From 9 - 930 I rotated 3 dimensional objects in my mind. My ears hang like wet ropes.
Sunday January 29,
2012
Tags #mobile (cell) phones, #telephones, #vendor, #hardware, #field, #pony, #ask alice, #winners, #bad connection
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, listen carefully. I need you to... vendor... hardware... immediately. Dilbert: What? We have a bad connection. Boss: Field... the... grep... pony... budget. Dilbert: What? What? Boss: I have another call. Just ask Alice. Alice: How would I know what he wants? Leave me alone. Dilbert: I wonder how winners feel. Wally: I don't know. They never let me touch them.
Thursday February 16,
2012
Tags #dating, #fast date, #technologically, #incompatible, #internet connection, #slow connection, #4g service, #relationships
Transcript
Dogbert: That was a fast date. Dilbert: We were technologically incompatible. Her internet connection is slow, and there's no 4G service where she lives. How could I spend my time there? Dogbert: You could just talk. Dilbert: I like to show my sources.
Wednesday November 29,
1995
Tags #network connection, #technology have not, #global economy, #french fry, #electronic mail, #snork
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a table eating lunch. Wally asks, "Alice, did you hear that Dilbert's network connection isn't working?" Alice says, "Uh-oh." Wally continues, "He is what we call a technology 'have not.' His competitiveness in the global economy will last as long as this french fry." Alice says, "So sad." As Wally gulps the french fry, Alice says to Dilbert, "After lunch, I'm going to use something called 'electronic mail.' You can watch if you promise not to touch anything." Dilbert looks angry.
Thursday May 02,
1996
Tags #connection, #network, #broken, #token ring, #wind beneath my wings, #ethernet
Transcript
Dilbert examines some cables in the Boss's office and says, "Here's your problem. The connection to the network is broken." Dilbert continues, "Uh-oh. It's a 'token ring' LAN. That means the token fell out and it's in this room someplace." Wally and Dilbert stand outside the Boss's office, watching the Boss crawl around on the floor. Wally says, "You are the wind beneath my wings." Dilbert says, "I'll wait a week then tell him the token must be in the 'Ethernet.'"
Sunday October 15,
1995
Tags #Dogbert, #long range planner, #impossible evaluation, #flex-time, #supposed to work, #internet connection n, #telecommute, #not pollute, #give a hoot, #losers, #demanded relocation, #no budget, #poodle graohics, #big raise
Transcript
Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "Why do you want to be our new 'Long Range Planner,' Mister Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Because 'long range' is very far away . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . Therefore it will be impossible to evaluate my performance." Dogbert continues, "If it's not too much to ask, I'd like to be on flex-time so you'll never know if I'm supposed to be at work." Dogbert continues, "I'll need an Internet connection at home so I can telecommute and not pollute. Because I give a hoot." Dogbert continues, "Also, I'd like to be in a group with lots of losers. That way I'll get the biggest riase when we're ranked." The Boss says, "You're hired. All of the other applicants demanded relocation expenses and I have no budget for that." Dogbert stands at a desk. Dilbert asks, "Why do I have to work while you just look for poodle graphics on the Internet?" Dogbert says, "Don't work too hard; I'd like a big raise."
Friday September 15,
2000
Tags #ankle, #connection, #cure is deactivate, #email monkey, #on back, #palm strapped
Transcript
CATBERT: Evil HR Director Catbert: Asok, you have a bad case of email monkey on the back. The only cure is to deactivate your internet connection. Asok: No problem, heh, heh Catbert: I know you have apple, V11 strapped to your ankle,
Monday May 26,
2003
Tags #summarize for ceo, #obliterate persuasiveness, #being wordy
Transcript
The Boss hands Dilbert a stack of papers and says, "Can you summarize this on one page for our CEO?" Dilbert responds, "Yes, but it will obliterate the persuasiveness of the document and cost us billions in lost opportunity." The Boss responds, "I see your point, but being wordy is bad, too."
Monday August 09,
2004
Tags #bad connection, #billing codes, #throw desk, #off builing, #miscommunication, #car, #cell phone, #technology
Transcript
The Boss: "We have a bad connection, so listen carefully." "Throw ... my ... desk ... off ... building..." "Okay." "I hope that sounded like 'go through my desk and office and find the billing codes'."
Tuesday August 10,
2004
Tags #point haired boss, #throw desk, #off biliding, #cell phone, #bad connection, #carry desk, #roof, #thrown, #happy, #technology
Transcript
"Are you sure that our pointy-haired boss said to throw his desk off the building?" "Well, his cell phone had a really bad connection." "Do you care?" "Not so much."