Obvious Insights Comic Strips
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64 Results for Obvious Insights
View 1 - 10 results for obvious insights comic strips. Discover the best "Obvious Insights" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 19,
1999
Tags #give his presentation, #irrelevant comparisons, #low budget, #development time, #computers faster, #obvious insights
Transcript
Dilbert stands next to a blank projection screen. He says, "My boss asked me to give his presentation." Dilbert puts a transparency on the overhead projector, saying, "I'll start with his irrelevant comparisons." Dilbert points to the projection, saying, "Our budget is lower than last year...". His co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "When we had completely different projects." Pointing to a projection of a graph, Dilbert continues, "Our average product development time is less...". The co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "Than the average for companies who make different products." Dilbert puts another transparency on the projector, saying, "Let's move on to his list of blindingly obvious insights." Standing next to the projction, Dilbert says, "If it's okay with you, I won't read them aloud." The projection reads, "Computers are getting faster!"
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Thursday January 28,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #meeting, #the boss, #change, #lowered, #expenses, #increased, #revenues, #financial, #situation, #blinding, #flash, #obvious
Transcript
Dilbert, the Boss, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Whoa whoa! I just got an idea that could change everything . . ." Ted says, "What if we LOWERED expenses and INCREASED revenues? That could help our financial situation." Ted yells, "Aaagh! I can't see!!!" Dilbert says to the Boss, "Sounds like a blinding flash of the obvious, sir."
Saturday February 11,
1995
Tags #current resume, #new vp, #obvious prelude, #massive staff cut, #worried, #all have resume, #massive disloyalty
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "I'd like each of you to give me a current resume." Waving his hands, the Boss continues, "Now, don't be alarmed. It's just so the new VP can get to know you. It's not an obvious prelude to massive staff cuts." Wally, Dilbert and Alice immediately hand resumes to the Boss who asks, "Should I be worried that you all have a current resume on you?" Wally answers, "Don't worry. It's not an obvious prelude to massive disloyalty!"
Wednesday April 24,
1996
Tags #marketing plan, #comments, #obvious generalities, #wishful thinking, #business value, #glamour career
Transcript
An employee from marketing, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The woman says, "And that's the marketing plan. Any comments?" Dilbert says, "It appears to be a bunch of obvious generalities and wishful thinking with no apparent business value." The woman thinks, "Marketing didn't turn out to be the glamour career I expected." Wally shows his copy of the plan to Dilbert and says, "I circled all the words you won't find in any dictionary."
Thursday August 22,
1996
Tags #lowly intern, #obvious solution, #clear buffers, #initialize link, #code patch, #memory leak, #salary, #twice as much, #money
Transcript
Asok stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I am only a lowly intern, but I see an obvious solution to your problem." Asok says, "Just click here . . . Clear your buffers and initialize the link . . . Now use this code patch for the memory leak." Asok says, "This is funny if you consider that your salary is twice as much as mine." Wally replies, "I'm laughing on the inside."
Saturday May 24,
1997
Tags #consultant, #meeting, #obvious generalities, #revenue for profit, #run by artits, #small businesses, #business
Transcript
Dilbert lies on the couch reading. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become a consultant in the field of obvious generalities." Dogbert explains, "I'll work for small businesses that are run by artists. They'll think I'm brilliant, which I am." Dogbert sits at a conference table with a man and a woman. The man, who has a goatee, says, "Whoa! Are you saying we need REVENUE to make profit??" The woman says, "Ouch! I've got a headache on one side."
Monday June 02,
1997
Tags #guiding prciples, #network architecture, #obvious ideas, #techno jargon, #unclear writing, #suspenders, #muddles thinking
Transcript
Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table with man who has a beard and is wearing suspenders. The man says, "I put together some guiding principles for our network architecture." Alice says, "I sure hope this isn't a bunch of obvious ideas disguised with techno-jargon and unclear writing." Dilbert whispers, "Let the games begin." Alice says to the man, "So tell me, do suspenders cause muddled thinking or is it the other way around?"
Wednesday November 11,
1998
Tags #technical recommendation, #keen insights, #boss immaturity
Transcript
Alice stands by the Boss's desk. The boss reads a piece of paper. The Boss says, "I don't understand your technical recommendation Alice." The Boss puts his hands to his temples. The Boss says, "I will rely on my keen insights about you as an engineer." Alice says, "That too would require knowledge on your part." The Boss says, "Shush!"
Monday July 12,
1999
Tags #management book, #obvious advice, #quotes from dead people, #ganghi, #assert cart, #Dogbert
Transcript
Dilbert stands with a coffee cup behind Dogbert who wags his tail and types at his computer. Dilbert says, "What's your new management book about?" Dogbert types and says, "It's a bunch of obvious advice packaged with quotes from famous dead people." Dilbert says, "Did Gandhi really say "Get that #!% dessert cart off my foot!"?" Dogbert says, "He might have."
Monday April 03,
2000
Tags #fake disability claim, #disabled, #hard to believe, #note from doctor, #obvious, #long time
Transcript
Wally says to Dilbert as he pours himself a cup of coffee in the break room, "I'm thinking about going out on a fake disability claim." Wally and Dilbert are walking with a cup of coffee in hand. Wally goes on to say, "Do you think anyone will believe I'm disabled?" Dilbert replies sarcastically to himself without speaking, "It's hard to believe you're not." Wally enters The Boss' office and asks, "Do you need a note from my doctor?" The Boss replies sarcastically unenthused, "No, it's been obvious for a long time."