Off Site Meeting Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Off Site Meeting

View 1 - 10 results for off site meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Off Site Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 1997's comic on:

Tags #off site meeting, #overworked, #invite staff, #discuss mission statement, #sack race, #state trooper, #shoot any animal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk working and talking on the phone at the same time. The Boss asks, "Have you set up our off-site meeting so we can talk about how overworked you are?" The Boss continues, "I was thinking we should invite the reast of the staff, too. We can discuss our mission statement, maybe have a sack race." The Boss adds, "Did you know that if you're a state trooper, you can shoot any animal that's been hit by a car?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 1997's comic on:

Tags #frazzled, #meet deadlines, #all day meeting off site, #theroy, #more time to explin

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells the Boss, "I'm totally frazzled. There simply isn't enough time in the day to meet my upcoming deadlines." Dilbert's hair and clothes are disheveled. The Boss says, "Let's have an all-day meeting off-site so I can explain why the deadlines are so important." Dilbert says, "So, your theory is that I'll have more time in the day if you explain something I already know?" The Boss replies, "I don't have a lot of tools here."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2013's comic on:

Tags #paying bills, #trees, #off site document, #storage costs, #out of control, #core bsuiness, #trees are jerks, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our off-site document storage costs are growing out of control. At this rate, our core business can be summarized as "put trees in jail." This is when you say something wise and helpful. CEO: Trees are jerks.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 1994's comic on:

Tags #build, #meeting, #project kick off, #project manager, #super fast microchips, #harder to saboatge, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"Thank you all for coming to the project kick-off meeting." "As project manager I've decided not to tell you the purpose of the project. That way it will be harder for you to sabotage it." "Does it require ny super-fast microchips?" "Good lord, no. Don't build any of those...by Tuesday."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1995's comic on:

Tags #primitive, #donut scavenging man, #yellow sticky notes, #humiliation, #live off land, #bountiful harvest, #dance to gods, #meeting notices

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, Dilbert and Alice walk out of a conference room. Wally says, "That's four hours that I'd like to have back." Dilbert asks, "Who called that meeting anyway?" Dilbert says, "I must have left my calendar in there." Dilbert walks into the room and sees a man grabbing doughnuts from a plate on the conference table. Dilbert says, "I've discovered a primitive donut-scavenging man clad only in yellow sticky notes!!" The man says, "I was once like you, before the great rif." The man continues, "But rather than leave in humiliation I decided to stay and live off the land like our proud ancestors." The man says as he dances, "To ensure a bountiful harvest I do my donut dance to the gods." The man continues, "When that doesn't work I distribute meeting notices." Dilbert shouts, "YOU're the one!!"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 1999's comic on:

Tags #young dilbert, #mother, #kitchen denied permission, #skateboard, #construction site, #jumped off cliff, #credibility, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

A young Dilbert is in the kitchen with his mom and asks, "Mom, can I go skateboarding at the construction site?" Mom replies, "No." Dilbert asks, "Why not? Everyone else does it." Mom asks, "If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you do that? Dilbert replies, "Well, that would depend on many factors, including height, training and equipment." Dilbert goes on, "But if 100% of the people who jumped off cliffs said they enjoyed it, as in my skateboard example... "...Then I would conclude that it was safe." Dilbert continues, "A better question might have been, "If everyone wore clothes, would you do that?"..." Dilbert outside, walking off with his skateboard thinking, "Her credibility gets worse every day."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2007's comic on:

Tags #meeting staff, #chain of command, #fake hone calls, #hanging around office, #waiting to get off phone, #weirdo, #go away

View Transcript

Transcript

Ned: I enjoyed meeting your staff. Keep up the good work. Dilbert: This isn't my staff. I report to the guy who reports to you." Ned: Really? Which one of you reports to me?" Well, that explains why you keep hanging around outside my office. The Boss: I've been going to your office for years, waiting for you to get off the phone so I could talk to you. Ned: I've been making fake phone calls for years, hoping the weirdo outside my office would go away." Keep up the good work."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #meeting, #insider, #stock, #trading, #bob, #dinosaurs, #body, #tipped, #authorities, #rat, #ratbert, #figuratively, #speaking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, Ratbert, and Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs, "Thank you all for coming." Dogbert continues, "I called this house meeting because somebody tipped off the authorities about my insider stock trading." Dogbert says, "Somebody in this room is a rat." Ratbert looks worried as he asks, "Figuratively speaking?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #meeting, #agenda, #specific, #emotional, #statements, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Thank you all for coming. There's no specific agenda for this meeting . . ." Ted continues, "As usual, we'll just make unrelated emotional statements about things which bother us. I'll kick it off . . ." Ted throws his head back and yells, "There's never time to get any work done around here!!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 1994's comic on:

Tags #3 hour meeting, #doesn't apply, #highly paid contractor, #oxygen to brains, #multimedia developer

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: It looks like you're off to a three-hour staff meeting that doesn't apply to me. Ted: Im glad Im a highly paid contractor, I'll be increasing my skills while you fight to get oxygen to your brains. THREE HOURS LATER TED: I became a multimedia developer, How was your day?