Offered Hard Candy Comic Strips
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353 Results for Offered Hard Candy
View 1 - 10 results for offered hard candy comic strips. Discover the best "Offered Hard Candy" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 10,
2008
Tags #elderly, #old, #phone, #landline phones, #no caller id, #new technology, #offered hard candy, #fiddlesticks, #couldn't hear
Transcript
We surveyed a thousand people who still have landline phones and no caller I.D. We asked for their opinion on our new technology. 34% said, "Fiddlesticks," and 23% couldn't hear the question. 43% thought we were in the room with them and offered us a hard candy.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday April 15,
2000
Tags #evil hr director, #offered stock incentives, #working hard enogh, #beating customers
Transcript
Catbert, now acting as the Evil H.R. director, aks Dilbert "Would you work harder if we offerec stock incentives." Dilbert responds, "Yes." Catbert asks, "So you admit you're not working hard enough now?" Dilbert replies unsure "Umm..." Catbert goes on to ask Dilbert, "Lastly, are you still beating up customers?"
Thursday July 09,
2015
Hard Work Is Necessary For Success
Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #misunderstanding, #motivation, #hard work, #Advice, #brainwash
Transcript
Wally: Remember, Asok, success requires hard work and sacrifice. Asok: Got it! I will work hard and sacrifice! Wally: I was going to say that's why you should avoid success. Who brainwashed you?
Thursday October 18,
2018
You Have To Work Hard To Succeed
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #work, #hard, #single, #day, #years, #succeed, #topic
Transcript
The Boss: If you want to succeed, you have to work hard every single day for years. Dilbert: That sounds awful. You just talked me out of wanting to succeed. Did you work that hard to get where you are? The Boss: Next topic!
Monday December 17,
2018
The Candy Honor System
Tags #candy, #irritation, #office workers, #steal, #stealing food, #office, #trust
Transcript
Carol: I put a candy bowl on my desk, and someone stole the entire bowl within five minutes. I'm old enough to remember when the honor system meant something. What happened to trust? Boss: Maybe the candy wasn't as good back then.
Thursday July 07,
2011
Tags #office workers, #hard work, #lateral promotion, #new job, #old job, #money involved, #saving it
Transcript
Boss: I'd like to reward you for your hard work by giving you a lateral promotion. I was going to hire from the outside, but I realized I can make you do the new job plus your old one. Dilbert: Is money involved? Boss: Yes! I'm saving a ton of it!
Thursday August 17,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #pasta, #antipasto, #hungry, #socrates, #plato, #question, #hard, #philosophy, #man, #tree, #rock
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors under a tree. Dogbert says, "If a man eats a pound of pasta and a pound of antipasto . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . Would they cancel each other out, leaving the man still hungry?" Dilbert says, "I can't imagine Socrates and Plato debating that question." Dogbert asks, "Too hard, huh?"
Wednesday September 27,
1989
Tags #comrade, #dogsky, #electronic, #secrets, #soviet man, #microfiche, #hard copy, #cripple, #empire, #evil
Transcript
Dogbert walks down a sidewalk and a man in a trenchcoat says, "Pssst . . . Comrade Dogsky. Will you sell your master's electronic secrets to nice Soviet man?" Dogbert asks, "Will you be wanting them on microfiche or hard copy?" Back at home, Dilbert asks, "You're going to cripple the WHAT?" Dogbert, who is carrying plans, replies, "Evil empire. Trust me on this."
Wednesday July 11,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #supervisor, #career, #path, #secetary, #years, #doctor, #expect, #hard work
Transcript
Dilbert says to a man at a desk, "As your new supervisor, I want to discuss your career path." Dilbert asks, "You're a secretary now, but what do you want to be in two years?" The man replies, "A famous actor . . . Or maybe a doctor." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . I don't think I can help you here . . ." The man replies, "Oh, right, but you'll expect me to work hard for you."
Saturday July 27,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #woman, #self deprication, #utter, #turn, #silly, #hard
Transcript
Dilbert walks down the office hallway and thinks, "Forgot my keys." Dilbert thinks, "I'll have to slap my forehead and mutter when I turn around, otherwise I'll look silly." As two people watch, Dilbert smacks himself and his glasses fly off his head. Dilbert thinks, "Too hard."