Old Carpet Comic Strips
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227 Results for Old Carpet
View 1 - 10 results for old carpet comic strips. Discover the best "Old Carpet" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday June 17,
2010
Tags #avoid work, #lazy, #love, #crazy, #insane, #stalking, #old carpet, #married, #wide eyes, #relationships
Transcript
Carol says, "Wally, you helped me avoid work, and now I can't help loving you." Carol says, "I show my love by a combination of insanity and stalking." Wally says, "Aren't you married?" Carol says, "You owe me an old carpet."
Sunday December 14,
1997
Tags #beg food, #carpet, #cubicle, #dog collar, #invisible boundary, #mark boundary, #mild shock, #new guy, #new hire, #offcie, #high tech device
Transcript
The Boss and Bruce walk by a cubicle. The Boss says, "We don't have a cubicle available for you yet, Bruce." The Boss says, "So I'm declaring this part of the carpet to be your office." The Boss says, "If someone goes to a meeting, you can sneak into his cubicle and use the phone." The Boss says, "Our computer budget is gone, but we have an old monitor that you can put on top of your briefcase." Bruce says, "Can I put tape on the carpet to mark my boundary?" The Boss says, "That won't be necessary, thanks to this hi-tech device." Bruce says, "A dog collar?" The Boss puts the collar around Bruce's neck. The Boss says, "It will give a mild shock if you cross your invisible boundary." Alice says, "The new guy hasn't left that spot for a week." Dilbert says, "Wally taught him to beg for food."
Thursday December 27,
2018
Working With Old Ned
Tags #elderly, #men and women, #office workers, #old
Transcript
Boss: I need you to work with old Ned on this project. He's a little bit old-fashioned, but don't let that get to you. He retires in six months. Alice: I've been asked to work with you. Ned: Women have jobs now? ? ?
Saturday July 27,
2019
The Opinionated Old Guy
Tags #business, #employees, #internet & world wide web, #old, #Opinion
Transcript
the opinionated old guy: that idea will never work! unless you know some kind of "magic" that sends data through the air. dilbert: i call it wi-fi. opinionated old guy: pffft! no one wants that.
Thursday July 07,
2011
Tags #office workers, #hard work, #lateral promotion, #new job, #old job, #money involved, #saving it
Transcript
Boss: I'd like to reward you for your hard work by giving you a lateral promotion. I was going to hire from the outside, but I realized I can make you do the new job plus your old one. Dilbert: Is money involved? Boss: Yes! I'm saving a ton of it!
Saturday August 20,
2011
Tags #conversation, #interviews, #biggest mistake, #learned from t, #old couch, #chewing, #starbucks, #never tell story
Transcript
Interview question. Boss: Describe your biggest mistake and what you learned from it. Man: I tried to get rid of an old couch by chewing it into tiny pieces and leaving one handful at a time at a Starbucks. Boss: And what did you learn? Man: I learned I should never tell that story.
Friday March 16,
2012
Tags #illness, #plunging productivity, #8 year old boy, #traylor, #germs, #doctor, #allergies, #gives to mom, #medical
Transcript
CEO: Our plunging productivity is all because of an eight-year-old boy named Traylor. Traylor doesn't wash his hands, he brings home every virus and germ from school, and gives it to his mom, who brings it to work with her. Dilbert: Maybe you should see a doctor. Carol: It's just allergies!
Thursday July 25,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #comedy, #competition, #first, #joke, #old people, #dragged, #stage, #third place
Transcript
Dogbert asks Dilbert, "How did you do in the stand-up comedy competition?" Dilbert's clothes are tattered and he has bruises on his face. Dilbert replies, "I was halfway through my first joke -- about old people, when an elderly woman dragged me off stage and slapped the bejeezus out of me." Dilbert holds up a trophy and says, ". . . It was good enough for third place."
Monday November 11,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #ceo, #old, #job, #stressful, #roses, #afford
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I stepped down as CEO and took my old job back - it's less stressful." Dogbert replies, "Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses." Dilbert says, "Exactly." Dogbert says, "Too bad we can't afford any roses now."
Monday November 25,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #president, #Dilbert, #opening, #supreme court, #old, #wandered, #nominating, #dog, #loyal, #george, #somebody, #message
Transcript
A presidential aide says to the President, "Mister President, there's another opening on the Supreme Court. One of the old guys wandered away." The aide continues, "I recommend nominating a dog this time. They tend to be loyal and everybody likes them." Dilbert hands Dogbert the phone and says, "It's for you . . . George somebody." Dogbert says, "Take a message."