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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #furniture psychic, #old chair, #passed

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Headline: Furniture Psychic. Dogbert stands on The Boss' desk wearing a magician's hat. Dogbert says, "Your old chair has passed to the other side." Dogbert continues, "He says you'll know what this means: 'Squeak, squeak." The Boss cries and says, "Yes." Dogbert says, "Your desk says, 'Thanks for the gum.'" The Boss sobs, "I need closure!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2001's comic on:


Tags #secretary, #carol, #order new chair, #new chair smell, #chair desert roll, #not important enough, #smelly chair, #mean nasty, #self centered, #delusional boss

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The Boss approaches Carol at her desk and says, "Carol, order a new chair for me. The old one lost its new chair smell." Carol responds, "Can I have your old chair? My chair doesn't roll anymore." The Boss replies tentatively, "'I'll try to say this tactfully. You're not important enough to sit in my smelly chair." Carol's eyes bug in offense.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2002's comic on:


Tags #weasel of layoffs, #experience, #histiate, #defects, #list of defects

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The hooded weasel approaches Ted's desk and says, "Hell-o-o-o Ted. I'm the weasel of layoffs." The weasel of layoffs continues, "If there's any way I can make this experience more humiliating, don't hesitate to ask." Ted exclaims, "Why, why me??!!" The weasel responds. "I'll tape a list of defects to your old chair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #hug, #sneak, #Family, #rat, #leg, #old spice, #Wally

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Ratbert hides behind the chair thinking, "There's Dilbert . . . I'll sneak up and hug his leg until he loves me and accepts me in the family." Ratbert jumps on Dilbert as he leaves the house. Ratbert says to Wally, "A rat is clinging to my leg." Wally replies, "I had that problem till I switched to 'Old Spice.'"

Ted Dies From Chair

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Ted Dies From Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #the boss, #ted, #treadmill, #alice, #exercise ball, #kneeling chair, #ergonomics

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Catbert: Ted got thrown from his treadmill desk, bounced off of alice's exercise ball chair, and broke his neck on a kneeling chair. The cause of death is listed as, "good ergonomics." On the plus side, his posture was excellent.

Dilbert Needs A New Chair

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Dilbert Needs A New Chair  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #chair, #complaining, #criticism, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: I need a more ergonomic office chair. Boss: Let me check the budget. Hmm...nope. We don't have a budget for making whiny employees happy. Dilbert: My current chair hurts my back. Boss: It's no picnic for the chair either.

Working With Old Ned

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Working With Old Ned - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #elderly, #men and women, #office workers, #old

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Boss: I need you to work with old Ned on this project. He's a little bit old-fashioned, but don't let that get to you. He retires in six months. Alice: I've been asked to work with you. Ned: Women have jobs now? ? ?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2011's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #hard work, #lateral promotion, #new job, #old job, #money involved, #saving it

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Boss: I'd like to reward you for your hard work by giving you a lateral promotion. I was going to hire from the outside, but I realized I can make you do the new job plus your old one. Dilbert: Is money involved? Boss: Yes! I'm saving a ton of it!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #interviews, #biggest mistake, #learned from t, #old couch, #chewing, #starbucks, #never tell story

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Interview question. Boss: Describe your biggest mistake and what you learned from it. Man: I tried to get rid of an old couch by chewing it into tiny pieces and leaving one handful at a time at a Starbucks. Boss: And what did you learn? Man: I learned I should never tell that story.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2012's comic on:


Tags #illness, #plunging productivity, #8 year old boy, #traylor, #germs, #doctor, #allergies, #gives to mom, #medical

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CEO: Our plunging productivity is all because of an eight-year-old boy named Traylor. Traylor doesn't wash his hands, he brings home every virus and germ from school, and gives it to his mom, who brings it to work with her. Dilbert: Maybe you should see a doctor. Carol: It's just allergies!