One Cake Comic Strips
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1000 Results for One Cake
View 1 - 10 results for one cake comic strips. Discover the best "One Cake" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 23,
1998
Tags #combined birthdays, #birthdays last year, #fake cake, #one cake, #all birthdays, #sing happy birthday
Transcript
The Boss stands in front of a cake and says, "Happy combined birthdays." The Boss continues, "Today we honor the employees who had birthdays within the past year." Wally, Dilbert and Alice stand as the Boss continues, "That's Dilbert...Alice...Asok...did I miss anyone?" Wally raises his hand and says, "Umm...you missed me." The Boss says, "You too? That's spooky." The Boss continues, "I'd cut the cake, but it's a plastic prop." The Boss says, "Let's sing. Does anyone know the words to 'Happy Birthday'?" The Boss walks down the hallway with the fake cake under his arm, and thinks, "I bet those weren't even the real words."
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Monday February 03,
2014
Tags #baked products, #coaches & coaching, #stress, #will power is finite, #cake for lunch, #coaching session, #long hours
Transcript
Boss: Studies say willpower is finite. If you use it for one thing, you have less for another. So if it feels hard to work long hours, without any reward, try eating cake for lunch. Wally: How'd your coaching session go? Dilbert: For once, it wasn't all bad.
Friday December 14,
2018
Cake Is Healthy
Tags #cake, #diet, #employees, #employment, #health, #health food, #office, #office workers
Transcript
Boss: We're launching a health and wellness initiative for employees this week. In other news, we have cake in the break room to celebrate all of the birthdays this month. Dilbert: Because cake is healthy? Boss: Learn to compartmentalize.
Friday May 13,
2011
Tags #administrative agencies, #project timeline, #waste one week, #set up meeting, #available in a week
Transcript
Dilbert: I estimated the project timeline by assuming that everyone involved will waste one week. Boss: That's a stupid way to do a timeline. Set up a meeting and I'll show you how it's supposed to be done. Carol: He's available in a week.
Saturday February 19,
2011
Tags #anger, #honesty, #moving, #new offcie, #sounds weird, #real one, #save the attitude
Transcript
Wally says, "I can't help on your project this week because we're moving to a new office." Dilbert says, "It sounds weird because it's true." Wally says, "I like to throw in a real one every now and then." Wally says, "You might want to save that attitude for the next round."
Sunday June 05,
2011
Tags #absent mindedness, #annoyance, #status upadte, #multitask, #one task, #doubling rate of failure, #useless blob of carbon
Transcript
Alice: Seriously? You're going to do email while I give my status update? Boss: Don't worry. I can multitask. Alice: Multitask? you can barely do one task properly. All you're doing is doubling your rate of failure. Congratulations on becoming the most useless blob of carbon in the universe. Boss: What? Sorry. I missed that. Alice: I said my project is on schedule. Boss: Okay. Great. Alice: This totally works for me.
Friday November 18,
2011
Tags #anxiety, #monsters, #supernatural beings, #beware of bogeyman, #bad parenting, #one over par, #everyhole
Transcript
Asok: My mother always told me to beware the bogeyman. Dilbert: That was bad parenting. There's no such thing as the bogeyman. Boss: I was one over par on every hole. Let me tell you all about it.
Saturday November 19,
2011
Tags #employees, #ignorance (knowledge), #fire wally, #can't risk, #zeberpupin system, #only one, #program, #business
Transcript
Boss: I want to fire Wally, but I can't risk it. He says he's the only one who can program the Zeberpupin System. Catbert: Are you sure that's true? Boss: It must be. No one else has even heard of it.
Monday January 16,
2012
Tags #apology, #bald, #business ethics, #company lawyer, #discrimination, #lawyers, #nearsighted, #one billion, #short, #statue
Transcript
Lawyer: I've been asked to settle your claim of discrimination against the company. Your complaint is that they discriminate against you for being short, bald, and nearsighted. I might have a conflict of interest, but my final offer is one billion dollars. Wally: Plus a statue and an apology. Company lawyer.
Tuesday May 15,
2012
Tags #confusing, #multiple pages, #public speaking, #real words, #small text, #unpersuasive, #computer, #desk, #no one can read, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you want me to put the chart on one page, which would make the text too small for you to see? Or do you prefer a multiple-page approach that is confusing and unpersuasive? Boss: It's probably better if no one can read it. Dilbert: I won't bother using real words.