Online Training Comic Strips
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221 Results for Online Training
View 1 - 10 results for online training comic strips. Discover the best "Online Training" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday November 26,
2020
Online Class Muted
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #online, #training, #diversity, #inclusion, #mute, #course, #confess, #idiots
Transcript
boss: my records show you completed the online training for diversity and inclusion. apparently, you did not know we can detect it when you have the sound muted during the entire course. colleague: oops. dilbert: you can do that? Boss: no, but i can trick most of you idiots into confessing.
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Tuesday April 18,
2000
Tags #self paced, #online training, #sharpen my saw, #subject, #don't know subject, #confusing
Transcript
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit together at a table. Wally says to the Boss, "I've been taking a self-paced online training course to sharpen my saw". The Boss replies, "What's the subject?" Wally answers, "I don't know." Frustrated with Wally's response, the Boss throws both arms in the air and yells, "How could you not know?" Wally answers, "What part of self-paced is confusing you?"
Thursday July 31,
2014
Tags #mergers & acquisitions, #start up, #45 hours, #mandatory online training, #seven customers
Transcript
Boss: We got Randy by buying his start-up. Randy, Dilbert will show you how to access our 45 hours of mandatory online training. Randy: I quit. Boss: Well, at least we still have his start-up. Dilbert: And all seven of its customers, too.
Tuesday July 22,
2003
Tags #mandatory online training, #system crashed, #retake training
Transcript
"You're the only one who hasn't finished the mandatory online six sigma training." "I finished it, but the system crashed before it stored my data." "This is when you say, 'There's no need to retake the training. I'll just check off your name.'" "Are you new on this planet?"
Monday October 29,
2018
Training By Osmosis
Tags #the boss, #formal, #training, #job, #absorb, #osmosis, #idiot, #rest, #staff
Transcript
The Boss: We don't have formal training for your job. Just hang around and see if you can absorb it through osmosis. Man: I'm an idiot for taking this job. The Boss: You're already thinking like the rest of the staff!
Thursday February 28,
2019
Mandatory Training
Tags #avoidance, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #training
Transcript
Boss: You haven't finished the mandatory compliance training modules. Alice: I'm waiting for a strategic time to do them. Boss: Oh, okay. Want to go to lunch? Alice: I would love to, but I have training modules to do.
Thursday October 31,
2019
Dogbert's Sensitivity Training
Tags #business, #office workers, #class, #training, #sensitivity, #offend, #kill, #hour
Transcript
dogbert: welcome to dogcart's sensitivity training dogbert passing out papers: today you will learn how to never offend anyone ever again class including dilbert: are you going to kill us? dogbert: no, no, no. after an hour of this class, you'll want to do it yourself.
Tuesday November 12,
2019
Workflow Training
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #system, #technology, #training, #new
Transcript
boss: has everyone taken the new workflow system training? alice: yes, and we all concluded the new system is poorly designed and should be abandoned. boss: sounds like you need more training. alice: i meant to say we love the new system
Monday October 19,
2020
Training Kicked In
Tags #bathroom, #boring, #business, #face mask, #meeting, #sarcasm, #technology, #training, #coffee
Transcript
wally: that slide deck in yesterday's meeting was lethally boring. luckily, all of my training kicked in. dilbert: and that training taught you to...? wally: go to the bathroom and never return.
Monday December 28,
2020
Stapler Training
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #training, #planning, #meeting, #stapler, #safety, #mandatory, #fight
Transcript
boss: dilbert, what have you accomplished since our planning meeting? dilbert: the planning meeting was this morning. all i've done since then is take a mandatory training class on stapler safety. boss: but now you're fresh and ready for the fight? dilbert: only if it's a stapler fight.