Only Creature Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for only creature comic strips. Discover the best "Only Creature" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #crossfire, #cnn, #only creature, #televsion, #each me, #debate, #television, #same desires, #experiences, #disagree, #stupid, #over silplfying, #Opinion, #Entertainment

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Dilbert sits at his desk next to Dogbert. Ratbert enters and says, "I've been invited to be a guest on 'Crossfire' on CNN." Ratbert says, "I'm the only creature on earth who hasn't already been on television." Ratbert asks, "Can you teach me how to debate on television, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Okay." Dogbert says, "First, Ratbert, assume everybody has the same desires and experiences as you." Ratbert touches his head and says, "Absorb absorb." Dogbert continues, "Therefore, if they disagree with you they must be stupid." Dilbert says, "I think you're over-simplifying, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "What was that opinion, Ratbert?" Ratbert replies, "Stupid!" Dogbert says, "You're ready for 'Crossfire,' Ratbert." Ratbert says, "I usually like the same movies as the fat one."

Dilbert Characters

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #office equipment, #questioning, #wise garbageman, #powerpoint slides, #only delicious, #small does, #analogy, #works for flies

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Dilbert: Wise garbage man, tell me why Powerpoint slides are so boring. Garbageman: Powerpoint is a lot like garbage. It's only delicious in small doses. Too much can kill you. Dilbert: That analogy only works for flies. Garbageman: Oooh. Look who thinks she's better than flies.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #ignorance (knowledge), #fire wally, #can't risk, #zeberpupin system, #only one, #program, #business

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Boss: I want to fire Wally, but I can't risk it. He says he's the only one who can program the Zeberpupin System. Catbert: Are you sure that's true? Boss: It must be. No one else has even heard of it.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #office equipment, #email servers, #inbox, #vowels only, #complain, #loudest, #complain to boss

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Dilbert: Ever since you moved our email servers to Transylbonia, my inbox has nothing but vowels. I.T. person: We I.T. people only respond to whoever complains loudest. You should complain to your bosss. Dilbert: I will! Boss' Computer: A ui aoe uie ou eai!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #quick question, #only on line, #slapping, #less risk, #dumb thing

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Tina: Wally, I have a quick question. Wally: Hold it. Stop right there. I only collaborate online, where there's less risk of some angry nut job slapping me. Tina: That's the dumbest thing... Wally: Gaaa!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lunch date, #not attracted, #technoloigy, #only like tech, #people are creepy, #delivery system, #viruses, #germs, #picture, #photoshop, #people hater

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Tina: Wally, do you want to go to lunch? Wally: No, thanks. I"m a digisexual now. Tina: What: Wally: I'm no longer attracted to people. I only like technology. People creep me out. You're basically a delivery system for viruses, germs, and unreasonable favor requests. I'm willing to take a picture of you, but that's as far as I'll go. Tina: This is the most disturbing conversation I've ever had. Wally: Thank goodness for Photoshop.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #clone, #Dilbert, #arm, #hammer, #creature, #disgusting

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The caption says, "Dogbert and the garbage man try to clone Dilbert back to life." The garbage man and Dogbert watch as the cloning device makes a buzzing noise and lights up. The garbage man screams, "Aaagh! Run for your life!!! It's a hideous disgusting creature!!!" Dilbert's head appears in the garbage can. Dogbert hands Dilbert a box of baking soda and asks, "Would you care for a little 'Arm and Hammer?'"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #aunt, #helen, #elbow warmer, #gift, #lowest, #creature, #dog, #Dogbert

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Dilbert reads a letter that says, "Dear Dilbert, I hope you like this elbow warmer I knitted for you. Love, Aunt Helen." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "It's an elbow warmer; just a thoughtful little gift from me to you." Dogbert says, "I feel like the lowest creature in the gift chain."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #practiced, #Religion, #attained, #fulfillment, #soul, #creature, #andy the android

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Andy says to Dogbert, "I have practiced religion for one day and not attained fulfillment." Dogbert responds, "That's because you're an android. You have no soul." Andy asks, "No soul?" Andy asks, "What is a little creature with no soul supposed to do?" Dilbert responds, "Well, Sonny Bono married Cher . . ."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #tax, #rebate, #Dogs, #only, #fair, #stimulate, #economy, #keynesian, #free, #market, #boost, #gnp, #supply, #side, #curve, #positive, #vote, #reel

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Dogbert sits across from the President's desk. Dogbert says, "So, Mister President, a tax rebate for dogs is the only fair way to stimulate the economy." Dogbert continues, "Because then you get a keynesian free market multiplier effect to boost your GNP up the supply side of the curve." The President asks, "Are you POSITIVE that dogs can vote?" Dogbert thinks, "Now, r-e-e-l him in . . ."