Opal Project Comic Strips
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668 Results for Opal Project
View 1 - 10 results for opal project comic strips. Discover the best "Opal Project" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 14,
2002
Tags #little people allowed, #strategy decisions, #project opal, #executive intuition, #budget cut, #opal project, #named after daughter, #increase budget, #secret meetings, #decision makers
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "All the important decision-makers in the company in this room." The Boss continues, "No little people are allowed because we'll be making important strategy decisions." The Boss continues, "First, let's make decisions about project Opal." The Boss continues, "Does anyone know what the project is or what we need to decide?" A man raises his hand and says, "My executive intuition tells me we should cut the budget by 10%." Another man turns to him and says, "I think Opal is one of your projects. It's named after your daughter." The first speaker grabs his own head and says, "Wait.. a new intuition is coming in now... it says to increase the budget." Dilbert asks the Boss, "Why are those meetings secret?" The Boss replies, "You don't want to know."
Monday January 26,
2015
What Phase Of The Project
Tags #insult, #insulting, #project, #questioning
Transcript
Boss: What phase is your project in? Dilbert: This is the phase where people ask stupid questions. Boss: How long does it last? Dilbert: It isn't looking good for today.
Monday June 20,
2016
Wally Heads Up Ai Project
Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #project, #fake
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I need you to head up our artificial intelligence project. You will have no budget and no hope of success. I just like saying we're working on AI. And you're completely useless, so it's a good match. Wally: I won't let you down.
Thursday October 24,
2019
Project Update
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #project, #update, #plan, #read, #imaginary
Transcript
boss: did you send me your project update? dilbert: were you planning to read it? boss: no dilbert: then i totally sent it too you boss thinking: half of my job is imaginary
Friday May 13,
2011
Tags #administrative agencies, #project timeline, #waste one week, #set up meeting, #available in a week
Transcript
Dilbert: I estimated the project timeline by assuming that everyone involved will waste one week. Boss: That's a stupid way to do a timeline. Set up a meeting and I'll show you how it's supposed to be done. Carol: He's available in a week.
Saturday January 15,
2011
Tags #cruelty, #managers & supervisors, #couldn't be worse, #bad idea, #Funny, #project is bad idea, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "How's everything going?" Dilbert says, "It couldn't be worse." Dilbert says, "I was the only person who said this project is a bad idea. Then you assigned it to me." The Boss says, "It's funnier when I make them say it." Dilbert says, "Grrrr"
Tuesday February 08,
2011
Tags #work ethic, #charged project, #accountants, #arsenic based life forms, #natural enemy
Transcript
Accounting Dilbert says, "You charged my project for expenses that aren't mine." Finance Troll says, "Let me see that." Finance Troll says, "We accountants are arsenic-based life forms. That makes you my natural enemy." Dilbert says, "That is not logical." Finance Troll says, "Live long and phospher."
Monday February 21,
2011
Tags #engineers, #laziness, #project budget, #new technology, #slow learner, #expensive
Transcript
Woman says, "You used the entire engineering portion of my project budget just learning the new technology." Wally says, "I'm sorry things didn't work out for you." Wally says, "Some say I'm a slow learner, but I like to think of myself as expensive."
Monday May 30,
2011
Tags #quarreling, #suspicion, #work ethic, #work independantly, #boss, #preemptive strike, #project update
Transcript
Wally: I can't work for a boss who doesn't trust me to work independently! Boss: Is this a preemptive strike so I won't ask why you didn't turn in a project update? Wally: And more distrust. How do you live with yourself?
Thursday June 16,
2011
Tags #office workers, #teds project, #overlap, #initiated discussions, #create framwork, #complementary architectures, #leadership
Transcript
Boss: Wally, have you done anything to address of your project with Ted's project? Wally: Yes, I've initiated discussions to create a framework that would allow us to adopt complementary architectures. Boss: So... nothing. Wally: When did we stop calling it leadership?