wally: it might seem as though i accomplished very little this year. and that's true. but i also have a trove of opposition research on my co-workers.
boss: what?
wally: ranking employees against one another was your best idea ever.
Dilbert: I'm concerned that my personal goals do not align with our corporate strategy. For example, I would like to be happy. What does the company want? Boss: Well, nothing along those lines.