Boss: I don't like the optics of your plan. Dilbert: It's the only plan that can work. Should I change it to something that looks good but won't work? Boss: Excellent idea. You might have more management potential than I though.
Carol: do you have lunch plans?
Dilbert: Aren't you married?
Carol: Im not asking you out on a date, Im trying to network.
Dilbert: The optics wouldn't be good.
Carol: How am I supposed to network in this stupid company?
Dilbert: Maybe you could network with other women.
Carol: This company has no women in management!
Now I see the problem. Its people like you!
Dilbert: Is it my imagination or was she flirting with me?
Wally: I can't tell.
Customer: I'd like to do business with your company, but I'm concerned that the only beverage you can afford to offer me is water from the restroom sink... and I need to bring my own cup. Dilbert: I also offered to fill the sink and let you lap it out. Customer: And now I'm thirsty!