Other Deadlines Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

646 Results for Other Deadlines

View 1 - 10 results for other deadlines comic strips. Discover the best "Other Deadlines" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #give decion, #more information, #study, #get information, #business case, #justify funding, #relief, #other deadlines, #laser like focus, #customer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks into The Boss' office and says, "You need to give me a decision." The Boss replies, "You need to give me more information." Dilbert replies, "You need to give me funding to do a study to get the information." The Boss replies, "You need to give me a business case to justify the spending." Dilbert replies, "You need to give me relief from my other deadlines so I can work on the funding request." The Boss replies, "You need to give me everything to infinity." At that, The Boss jumps up from his chair and screams, "I WIN! YES!" Dilbert says to Wally, "We might be losing our laser-like focus on the customer." Wally responds, "On the who?"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blaming, #quarreling, #work independantly, #close eyes, #fall back, #better than other people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to work independently. In this exercise, I want you to put your arms at you side, close your eyes, and fall backward. Noise: Thud thud thud. Dogbert: And it's still better than working with other people.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #announcements, #meetings, #communicate, #other departments, #criticize, #war on knowledge

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to communicate less with other departments. The more they know about us, the more they criticize what we do. Dilbert: Is this part of your larger war on knowledge? Boss: That was the last thing I'll ever tell you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #secondhand sales, #tablet computer, #business, #design logo, #pay another company, #other companies, #watch, #engineers, #degrade, #low morale

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're going into the tablet computer business. And by that I mean other companies will make the product and we'll design the logo. And by that I mean we'll pay another company to design the logo for us. Alice: Can we watch?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #venture capitalist, #other board members, #10 million

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Venture capitalists gave us $10 million, but I had to agree to put one ion them on board. TED: Should I be worried that your other board members have a combined I.Q of about 70? Dogbert: They weren't dumb enough to give me $10 million dollars. alligator: Burn!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #marriage counselor, #plastic surgery, #personalities, #bad, #pretend, #other, #communicate, #begging, #trouble

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk in front of a sign that says, "Marriage Counselor." A man and a woman sit across from him. Dogbert continues, "I recommend massive plastic surgery for both of you . . . And your personalities are bad, too; pretend to be other people." The man or the woman asks, "Should we try to communicate more?" Dogbert replies, "No, that's just begging for trouble."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #important project, #marked man, #other employees, #throw bricks, #keep persepctive, #suck ups, #brick to the head

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I'm putting you in charge of an important project which is fully funded." Dilbert: Ima marked man, The other employees will either try to suck up to me for money or throw bricks at me. Ted: Buddy. Dilbert: The trick is to keep a protective ring of suck ups around at all times. Zip.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inflation eating, #no real opportunity, #other compnaies, #downsizing, #miss the 80s, #get away with anything

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "You've got inflation eating you from the bottom...and no real opportunity for a promotion." "And as long as all the other companies are downsizing too, you have no leverage. I can get away with anything!" Dilbert: "I miss the eighties." The Boss: "Does this hurt?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #same task, #other people, #clever ploy, #create healthy internal competition, #average cauliflower, #brain, #fruit kingdom

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert stand in front of the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "Wally and I have a bet about why you assigned me to the same task as three other people." Dilbert continues, "I believe it's a clever ploy to create healthy internal competition. Wally thinks you're just dumber than the average cauliflower." The Boss says, "May I point out that cauliflower is the brain of the fruit kingdom." Wally looks at Dilbert and says, "Yes!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lowest bid, #technical support hotline, #other bidders

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "You submitted the lowest bid to run our new technical support hotline, Mister Dogbert." The Boss continues, "The other bidders would love to know how you plan to handle twelve thousand calls a day by yourself." Dogbert replies, "Tell them to call me."