Other Peoples Accounts Comic Strips

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622 Results for Other Peoples Accounts

View 1 - 10 results for other peoples accounts comic strips. Discover the best "Other Peoples Accounts" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 1998's comic on:


Tags #power of cute ears, #abuse banking industry, #Dogbert, #large withdrawl, #other peoples accounts

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Dogbert has his ears up and walks down the street. Dogbert thinks, "I will now use my power of cute ears to abuse the banking industry." Dogbert stands in front of a bank teller. Dogbert says, "I'd like to make a large withdrawal from other peoples' accounts." Dogbert drags a huge bag of money down the street. Dogbert thinks, "It was funny when I made her count it twice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #low battery indicator, #work day and night, #health decline, #other peoples problems, #creep likes

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The feature creep Creep: Is it too late to give our product a low battery indicator? Dilbert: Id have to work night and day for a month! My health would decline and Id miss all my objectives! Creep: I jus realized that other peoples problems make me all warm inside.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 1990's comic on:


Tags #judicial proceedings, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #valuable, #society, #free, #jury duty, #lives, #letter, #civic duty

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Dogbert reads a letter and says, "What a stupid waste of my valuable time." Dilbert says, "It's your civic duty. It's the small dues you pay for living in a just and free society." Dogbert replies, "Big whoopee." Dilbert says, "And you get to play God with other people's lives." Dogbert says, "Well, they should say that in the letter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #future trends, #guess, #more valid, #published, #share vision, #people are dumb

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Dogbert: I'm writing a book of my guesses about future trends. If it gets published then my guesses will seem more valid than other peoples. I'll charge huge fees to share my 'vision" with audiences. Dilbert: Why would people pay huge fees for guesses? Dogbert: Trend number one is that people aren't getting any smarter.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #dead, #targets, #power-hungry, #managers, #career, #shooting

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "Boss, I have an idea." The Boss gasps. The Boss jumps up and says, "Quick! Close the blinds! I'll get the door!" The Boss shouts, "You fool! If anybody heard you, we're both dead!" The Boss continues, "Don't you realize that ideas are just targets for other power-hungry managers?!!" The Boss continues, "I've based my entire career on shooting down other people's ideas." A brick crashes through the window. Dilbert picks it up and says, "The note says, 'We know you have an idea in there. Give it up.'" Dilbert arrives at home wearing disheveled clothes and bent glasses. Dogbert asks, "How was work?" Dilbert replies, "Same ol' same ol'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2004's comic on:


Tags #main prodcut, #coming off patent, #profits will plunge, #shallowm, #paid for there inventions

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Our main product is coming off patent. "Profits will plunge and so will my bonus. It's not fair." "Call me shallow. But I enjoy getting paid for other people's inventions." "SHALLOW!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2007's comic on:


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Dogbert's speakers bureau "What topic would you be speaking about?" "I would speak about the folly of trying to satisfy other people's unreasonable expectations." "Would you show up on time?" "No. I doubt I would even prepare a speech."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2010's comic on:


Tags #lose job, #merger, #worry, #good word, #recommendation, #drink coffee, #observation

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The Boss says, "I wouldn't worry about losing your job after the merger." Dilbert says, "Because you put in a good word for me?" The Boss says, "No, it's more of an observation that I don't worry about other people's jobs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2008's comic on:


Tags #discriminating, #genetic reason, #idiot, #intolerance, #turned down for raise, #maximum raise, #learning problem, #desparation, #money

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The Boss: Alice, I can't give you the maximum raise because you don't respect other people's differences. Alice says, Why are you discriminating against me for my intolerance? If I am intolerant for some genetic reason, then I can't help it. Alice says, "And if I'm intolerant because I can't learn to be otherwise, then obviously I have a learning problem. Alice says, "Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not acceptable for me to notice it? You need to start appreciating me for my intolerance! Alice says, And while I'm at it, allow my to mention that a monkeys seat cushion has better views than what I'm looking at right now. The Boss says, "I'm not quite sure where to go with this." Alice says, "Ooh! Oooh! I have a suggestion."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2009's comic on:


Tags #talking, #telling, #story, #interrupted, #annoyed, #berating, #angry, #hijacked, #criticism, #ridicule, #ignoring

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Dilbert says, "And then Ted said he'd?" Man says, "Ho ho! I've seen that a million times!" Man says, "At my old job we used to make cricket noises whenever our manager was approaching." Man says, "But that doesn't mean you should cut corners when it comes to quality." Dilbert says, "You're hijacking our conversation!" Man says, "I'm adding value." Dilbert says, "You don't even know what we were talking about." Wally says, "Apparently you have a social disorder that compes you to insert irrelevant stories and trite observations into other people's conversations." Wally says, "I assume part of the disorder involves not being able to recognize it in yourself." Dilbert says, "I wonder if he can hear us." Man says, "Did I tell you about my camping trip?"