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99 Results for Others
View 1 - 10 results for others comic strips. Discover the best "Others" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 17,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #language, #best shore, #off shore, #some countries, #better than others, #racists
Transcript
Boss: And we plan to bestshore the production. Dilbert: What? Boss: We say bestshore now instead of offshore. Dilbert: Is that because we never tried to pick the best shore until now? Boss: Of course we tried to pick the best shore! Dilbert: But we never succeeded because we're incompetent? Boss: All I'm saying is that some countries are better than others! Wally: We're racists?
Thursday September 15,
2011
Tags #anger, #debates, #more aggressive, #blaming others, #lack of success, #keeping from work
Transcript
Wally: I've decided to become more aggressive in blaming others for my lack of success. For example, you're keeping me from working right now. Dilbert: No I'm not. Wally: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO STAND HERE AND ARGUE WITH YOU ALL DAY!
Tuesday February 15,
1994
Tags #trying to please, #fool, #better please, #crush you, #selfish dogbert, #justa thought, #others, #threatened
Transcript
Dilbert: "I can't live my life trying to please others." Dogbert: "I think I can speak for all others when I say, 'Fool! You'd better please us or we'll crush you!'" Dilbert: "It was just a thought." Dogbert: "We 'others' don't like to be threatened."
Wednesday July 13,
1994
Tags #career criminlas, #jail, #sentences, #don't reduce crime, #commit crimes, #others commit crimes, #statistics
Transcript
"I oppose putting career criminals in jail for life. There's no evidence that longer sentences reduce crime." "So, your theory is that when career criminals are in jail, other people commit more crimes to keep the average up..." "Statistics don't lie, Dogbert." "Unless bad statistics went to jail - then the others WOULD like."
Saturday April 24,
1999
Tags #blame others, #Catbert, #evil hr director, #oversized head, #problem, #tight pantyhose, #low morale
Transcript
Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert says, to Alice, "Alice, you blame others for your low morale." Catbert points at Alice and says, "BUT THE REAL PROBLEM IS YOUR TIGHT PANTYHOSE!!" Alice says, "I don't think so." CAtbert says, "Then how do you explain your oversized head?"
Monday July 16,
2001
Tags #life no purpose, #scratch back, #service to others, #feel useful, #found something, #works
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting by the bank of a river. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My life has no purpose." Dogbert responds, "Scratch my back." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Are you saying the purpose of life is service to others?" Dogbert says "Okay." Dilberts says to Dogbert, "It does make me feel useful." Dogbert responds "I think we both found something that works."
Saturday November 01,
2003
Tags #too much work, #give too much work, #blame others, #angry, #its all you!
Transcript
"Alice, your problem is that you take on too much work." "The problem is that you GIVE me too much work!" "Your second problem is that you blame others, and your third problem is that you're always angry." "GAAA!! IT'S ALL YOU!!"
Tuesday April 20,
2010
Tags #fix control management system, #long time, #meeting, #leadership, #timeline, #failure, #annoyed, #blame others, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "What's taking you so long to fix the control management system?" Dilbert says, "Your leadership has taught me to give you laughably unrealistic timelines, then blame others when I miss deadlines." The Boss says, "You're not even doing that right." Dilbert says, "I guess I need more of your leadership."
Friday August 29,
2014
Tags #laziness, #not caring what others think, #total uslessness, #key to success, #discussion, #employees, #hoping it goes, #business
Transcript
Wally: Asok, the key to success is not caring what others think of you. Coincidentally, that is also the key to being totally useless. The important thing is that other people can't tell which way you're hoping it goes.
Friday November 02,
2018
Punishing For Others
Tags #employment, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #salary
Transcript
Boss: We've decided to level the organization. This means a slight pay cut for senior engineers such as yourself, but I hope you'll be a team player. Dilbert: Are you punishing me for the mediocrity of others? Boss: Only indirectly.