Over Does Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Over Does
View 1 - 10 results for over does comic strips. Discover the best "Over Does" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday October 24,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #rambling, #questions, #focus, #johnson, #fetch, #stick, #achieve, #sacrificing, #customer, #the boss
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, the staff meeting is over. Does anybody have any meaningless rambling questions? Johnson?" Johnson asks, "How can we work as a team to achieve total quality without sacrificing customer focus?" The Boss asks, "How many people would like to see me make Johnson fetch this stick?" Everyone raises their hands.
Tuesday November 15,
1994
Tags #first draft, #sugesstions, #nit picking, #break up of marriage, #Wally, #over does, #critical
Transcript
Wally hands Dilbert a binder and says, "I made a few thousand suggestions on your first draft." Wally continues, "Of all the pleasures of life, I think I like nit-picking the best!" Dilbert takes the report and says, "That could explain the break-up of your marriage." Wally says, "You wouldn't believe what SHE thought was fun."
Saturday March 25,
1995
Tags #most user freindly, #computer, #pre insatlled, #software, #one button, #leaves factory, #over my head, #tech support number, #technology, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert is in a computer retail store. The salesman points to a computer and explains, ". . . but by far, this computer is our most user-friendly." The salesman continues, "The pre-installed software has only one button. And we press it before it leaves the factory." Dilbert asks, "What does it do?" The salesman waves his hands and says, "Whoa! I'm in over my head. Let me give you their tech support number."
Thursday May 15,
1997
Tags #over slept, #big meeting, #no makeup, #newt gingrich
Transcript
Alice rolls over in bed and reaches for her alarm clock. The clock says 7:05. Alice thinks, "Oh, no! I overslept . . . No time to apply makeup before my big meeting!" Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Alice asks, "Okay, does everyone understand their tasks?" Wally replies, "I'll get right on it." Dilbert replies, "Absolutely." Alice walks down the hall thinking, "I wonder why they were so respectful today." Asok walks up to Alice and shouts, "It's Newt Gingrich!"
Saturday October 19,
2019
Dilbert Is Bad At Reading Faces
Tags #business, #office workers, #psychology, #over sleeping, #pancakes, #hungry
Transcript
dilbert: i'm not good at reading faces. what does that one mean? man: it means i'm mad at myself for over sleeping and having to rush to work, so i hate your guts. dilbert: oh. i was guessing it was something about pancakes. probably because i'm hungry.
Sunday March 20,
2011
Tags #laziness, #meetings, #buddha jogging, #reliability stats, #data does not exist, #random numbers, #deep understanding of reality
Transcript
The Boss says, "Asok, get me the reliability stats for our previous model." Asok says, "I am fairly certain the data does not exist." The Boss says, "Wally can show you how to get it." Wally says, "Come with me." Wally says, "You start by typing random numbers into a spreadsheet." Asok says,"Then what?" Wally says, "Then you're done." Wally says, "All business data is intentionally misleading. I just take it to the next level." Wally says, "A deep understanding of reality is exactly the same thing as laziness." Asok says, "That can't be right." Wally says, "Have you ever seen a statue of Buddha jogging?"
Wednesday August 10,
2011
Tags #fraternization, #bad haircut, #poor font choice, #hand sanitizer, #substance over style
Transcript
Alice: I'm judging the quality of your business case by your bad haircut and your poor font choice. I plan to use a quart of hand sanitizer when I'm done touching your document. Man: I value substance over style. Alice: How's that working out?
Friday November 18,
2011
Tags #anxiety, #monsters, #supernatural beings, #beware of bogeyman, #bad parenting, #one over par, #everyhole
Transcript
Asok: My mother always told me to beware the bogeyman. Dilbert: That was bad parenting. There's no such thing as the bogeyman. Boss: I was one over par on every hole. Let me tell you all about it.
Saturday March 24,
2012
Tags #ineffective, #nemesis, #physics of work, #quarreling
Transcript
Dilbert: My old nemesis retired, so I asked Randy to take over that function because he's ineffective at everything he does. Coworker: Huh? Dilbert: The physics of work required that each employee be matched with an anti-employee called a nemesis. Coworker: I don't know who my nemesis is. Wally: Uh-oh. You got a hider. They're the worst.
Sunday April 15,
2012
Tags #correlations, #predicted outcomes, #problem, #enormous ceo compensation, #myth, #control over profits, #awkward, #trap door, #ceo trick, #violent
Transcript
Dilbert: I did a study of our past business plans and found something. There's no correlation between our predicted and actual outcomes. That might be a problem for you. Your enormous CEO compensation is based on the myth that you have some control over our profitability. CEO: Ha! Dilbert: Ha! CEO: Is it just me or is this awkward? Dilbert: No, I'm feeling it too.