Oxygen Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

18 Results for Oxygen

View 1 - 10 results for oxygen comic strips. Discover the best "Oxygen" comics from Dilbert.com.

Oxygen Not In The Budget

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Oxygen Not In The Budget - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags space flight, astronaut, oxygen, breathing, leadership, obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm happy to announce that we launched our company's spaceship to Mars. We only had enough in the budget to give them oxygen for three-quarters of the trip. So I told them to breathe smarter, not harder. It's called leadership.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, budget, impact, projects, bullet, points, oxygen, competition, jello, detailed, senior, executives

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I summarized the budget impacts on six hundred projects with those three bullet points." The Boss reads, "- Oxygen is good. - Competition is bad. - I like Jello." The woman asks, "Do you think it's too detailed for the senior executives?" The Boss replies, "Take out the 'competition' one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, noriko, generation, Kids, power, names, ship, oxygen, mars, plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the grass. Noriko stands between them saying, "You adults are ruining the planet for my generation." Noriko continues, "We kids have no power now, but I'm taking names. When we take power we'll ship you all to a penal colony on Mars." Dilbert replies, "There's no oxygen on Mars." Noriko says, "Oh, NOW you learn to plan ahead."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags converstaion, Dilbert, faking through, velcro works, block oxygen, brain

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: "He's explaining something that I already understand. I've got to stop him." Dilbert: "Blah blah blah." Ted: "I'll try vigorous nodding and agreeing, plus closed body language." Dilbert: "Blah blah blah." "Right right right." Dilbert: "And have I ever told you how 'velcro' works?" TED: "Maybe if I block the oxygen to my brain..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 3 hour meeting, doesn't apply, highly paid contractor, oxygen to brains, multimedia developer

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: It looks like you're off to a three-hour staff meeting that doesn't apply to me. Ted: Im glad Im a highly paid contractor, I'll be increasing my skills while you fight to get oxygen to your brains. THREE HOURS LATER TED: I became a multimedia developer, How was your day?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags useful skills, raising issues, salespeople, new prodcut, have a meeting, oxygen being wasted

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted stands behind Dilbert. Dilbert sits at his computer. Ted says, "I have no useful skills or knowledge. I compensate by 'raising issues'." Ted announces, "Our salespeople haven't been trained for the new product!!" Ted says, "Someone should have a meeting about that." Dilbert says, "Wow, I can actually hear oxygen being wasted."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cubicle, land on moon, temperature, oxygen levels, space program, hoax, nasa hiding, love engineers

View Transcript

Transcript

The cubicle lands on the moon. Dilbert says, "We're the first cubicle to land on the moon." Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the surface of the moon. Dilbert says, "The temperature and oxygen levels are fine. Apparently the space program is a hoax." Dogbert says, "NASA must be hiding something here." Two women appear. The women hold wine glasses and wear dresses. The brunette says, "Hi. We're the women who love engineers." The blond has a heart above her head. Dilbert's hair and tie stick straight up. Dilbert's eyebrows raise. Dobert's ear's fly up.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags strip on nose, oxygen to brain, interesting conversationalist, not optimistic, anti snoring device

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dogbert says, "Put this strip on your nose to get more oxygen to your brain." Dogbert hands Dilbert a strip. Dilbert puts the strip on his nose. Dogbert says, "I'm hoping it will make you a more interesting conversationalist." Dilbert says, "How 'bout that?" The strip is hanging off the end of Dilbert's nose. Dogbert says, "I'm no longer optimistic."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, emergency, budget, exercise, estimate, impact, replacing, engineers, summarize, bullet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. A woman says, "Dilbert, I need you to stop everything and do this emergency budget exercise." The woman explains, "Estimate the budget impact of replacing all the engineers with decorative plants." The woman says, "Later, I'll summarize everybody's inputs into a bullet point, like 'oxygen is good.'" Dilbert asks, "Would these be rented plants?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, man, experiment, volunteers, laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits outside the dome and types on a laptop, "Day one of the Bioworld experiment is off to a rocky start." Dilbert types, "The volunteers have no edible plants and the oxygen level is dropping." The volunteers hold signs that say "Help" and "Let us out." Dilbert types, "Fortunately, most of the volunteers are ex-car salespeople, so we remain emotionally uninvolved." Dogbert says, "Look how they spelled 'oxygen.'"