Paid Per Rumor Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

288 Results for Paid Per Rumor

View 1 - 10 results for paid per rumor comic strips. Discover the best "Paid Per Rumor" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumor control, #paid per rumor, #terrorit training campo, #exotic dancer, #weekends

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Rumor Control Service." Dogbert says, "People are saying Ted is an exotic male dancer on weekends. I know it isn't true because he spends all of his free time in a terrorist training camp." Alice says, "Isn't that worse?" Dogbert says, "I get paid per rumor. It's not a perfect system."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tight budget, #colorful paper clips, #incoming email, #paid per hour, #watch, #meeting, #berate employee, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"Yesterday, someone in this room gave me a document with a yellow paper clip." "I know that multicolored paper clips look 'pretty.'" "But I remind you that we are on a tight budget!" "We can't be throwing away all our money on colorful paper clips." "Do I make myself clear?!!" "I salvaged that paper clip from incoming mail." "Now excuse me while I stare at my watch and wonder how much you're paid per hour." "I'm sure you've done inefficient things that I don't know about." "Two minutes is... $5."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #browser history, #business ethics, #engineer, #engineering, #padded resume, #puppets, #technically, #rumor

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'd like to address the rumor that I padded my resume. In the strictest sense of the word, I am not technically an "engineer" per se. But to put this in perspective, even The Pope hides his browser history. It's no big deal.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultant, #highly paid, #150 per hour, #ideal career, #unproductive, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert leans on Wally's monitor and says, "As a consultant, I earn $150 per hour even when I'm unproductive." Ratbert continues, "I can earn 42 cents by wiggling my furry little behind for ten seconds." Ratbert shouts, "C'mon, count with me!!!" Wally tells Dilbert, "When I imagine my ideal career, it's never like this."

Alice Is Highest Paid Engineer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Is Highest Paid Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discrimination, #money, #salary, #sexism, #violence, #wages, #Women, #highest paid, #sciccors, #mallet, #reputation

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm the highest-paid engineer in the department now. Dilbert: Does it have anything to do with those scissors, the mallet, and your reputation for violence? Alice: Would you ask a man that question? Dilbert: Gaaa!!! It's like a super-power!

You Heard A Rumor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
You Heard A Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultaion, #insult, #rumor, #divulge source, #dating pillow, #co - workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults Dogbert: Nevre insult your co workers directly. The company would fire you for that. Instead say you heard a rumor but you can't divulge your source. Asok: that feels wrong. Dogbert: Someone told me your dating your pillow.

Who Started The Rumor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Who Started The Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accused, #business, #covid, #fired, #job, #managers & supervisors, #motive, #office workers, #pandemic, #racism, #replacement, #rumor, #unjust, #white supremacist

View Transcript

Transcript

boss, alice and dilbert wearing face masks. boss: i have been unjustly accused of being a white supremacist, and my boss just fired me for it. alice is the obvious choice to take my job, so i assume you will hear something on that soon. i wish i knew who had the motive to start that rumor and get me fired.

Still Get Paid

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Still Get Paid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #colleagues, #unreliable, #false, #true, #paid, #process, #believe, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i've been keeping a running list, and it seems that 100% of the things you told me this year have been false. wally: and we both got paid, so what's your point? tina: i...don't know how to process that. wally: i'd tell you, but apparently you wouldn't believe me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doctors, #employees, #medicines, #nice guys, #paid less, #aggressive jerks, #offer raise, #testosterone injections, #illegal, #dangerous, #unethical, #tiny income, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Studies show that nice guys get paid less than aggressive jerks. Dogbert: Maybe you should offer your doctor 10% of your next raise if he gives you testosterone injections. Dilbert: That would be illegal, dangerous, and unethical. Dogbert: Said the man with the tiny income.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #inventions, #google, #develop ideas, #60 hours, #per week, #math, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: At Google, we're encouraged to spend 20% of our time developing our own ideas. Dilbert: How many hours per week do you work? Man: About sixty. Wally: It sounds better when you don't do the math.