Parts Hair In Middle Comic Strips
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272 Results for Parts Hair In Middle
View 1 - 10 results for parts hair in middle comic strips. Discover the best "Parts Hair In Middle" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 04,
2003
Tags #defective coworker, #trade in, #co workers with defects, #parts hair in middle, #defects yet discovered
Transcript
Dilbert carries Peri Noid into a back tunnel way. The Garbageman says, "You can't repair a defective co-worker." The Garbageman leads Dilbert into a room filled with defective co-workers enclosed in glass capsules. The Garbageman says, "The best you can do is trade for a co-worker whose defects you haven't yet discovered." Dilbert points to a man and asks, "What's wrong with this one?" The Garbageman replies, "He parts his hair in the middle; that's just wrong."
Sunday April 09,
1995
Tags #ranked engineers, #best to wworst, #bottom 10%, #includes you, #logically flawed, #fire, #fire body parts, #wally freaked outm, #torsos, #glands, #blood and bile, #fired hair
Transcript
Wally sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "We ranked all the engineers from best to worst." The Boss continues, "We plan to get rid of the bottom ten percent. That includes you, Wally." Wally replies, "Your plan is logically flawed." Wally continues, "If you fire the bottom ten percent, you'll STILL have a bottom 10%." Wally continues, "You'll fire and fire, but there will always be a bottom 10%, until finally . . ." Wally stands up and shouts, "When less than ten people are left you'll have to fire body parts instead of whole people!!!" Wally screams, "We'll have torsos and glands wandering around unable to use keyboards . . . Blood and bile everywhere!!!" Dilbert asks, "How'd it go?" Wally replies, "He fired my hair."
Tuesday January 12,
1999
Tags #middle aged guy, #bad hair, #hair in pnytail, #coolest guy, #office, #raising bar
Transcript
Wally's hair grows long. Wally says, to Asok, "Watch this, Asok. I start out looking like a middle-aged guy with bad hair..." Wally says, "But simply by putting my hair in a ponytail, I transform into...." Wally pulls his hair back. Wally says, "The coolest guy in the office." Asok says, "Curse your for raising the bar for us all!"
Friday March 06,
2015
Male Parts And Nothing Can Change It
Tags #discrimination, #fairness, #money, #salary, #sexism, #wages, #Women, #male body parts
Transcript
CEO: I explained to Alice why I earn more than she does, but she refuses to understand. I'm taller and I have male reproductive body parts. That's what stockholders care about, and nothing can change that. (Alice whistles as she walks with a pair of scissors and a mallet.)
Tuesday November 15,
2016
Humidity Is Wrecking Hair
Tags #hair, #humid, #bad hair day
Transcript
Alice: The humidity is wrecking my hair. Please don't stare. Dilbert: I can't promise that. Alice: You're staring! Dilbert: I'm afraid to turn my back on it.
Monday January 30,
2017
Robotic Hair Transplant
Tags #coffee, #conversation, #hair, #surgery, #medical
Transcript
Never go to a robotic hair transplant center on the same day they upgrade the software. Is that the surgery where they take hair from the back of your head and fill in the bald spot? That's how the old software worked. The new one didn't respect boundaries.
Friday June 09,
2017
Scavenging For Parts
Tags #friendship, #strategy, #parts, #scavenging, #money, #usury, #budget, #relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: My boss forgot to fund my project so I've been scavenging for parts. Robot: You usually don't make conversation with me. I guess this means we're friends now. People.
Sunday July 28,
2019
Bad Hair Day
Tags #angry, #boss, #employees, #employment, #hair, #hairstyles, #meetings, #threat, #warning
Transcript
Boss: Alice, why aren't you at this meeting? Alice: I'm having a bad hair day. Boss: That's no reason to miss a meeting! Alice: You don't understand. It's really, really bad. Boss: Come to the meeting right now, or you're fired! Gurk! Dilbert: That's bad hair. Alice: Can't say I didn't warn him.
Saturday May 07,
2011
Tags #computers & peripherals, #embarrassment, #process order, #middle ages, #stinging sarcasm, #faxed copy, #1950's, #happy time, #bob in procurement
Transcript
Bob In Procurement Dinosaur: I need the signed original contract to process your order. Dilbert: Because we're in the Middle Ages? Dinosaur: Ouch! Your stinging sarcasm has embarrassed me into saying I will accept a faxed copy. Are we good now? Dilbert: Absolutely. Because the 1950s is a happy time.
Saturday September 24,
2011
Tags #anxiety, #stress, #burned out, #gray hair, #don't handle stress
Transcript
Man: I'm burned out by this job. Is that a gray hair? Dilbert: Have we met? Man: I started yesterday. I don't handle stress well.