Paying For Itself Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

101 Results for Paying For Itself

View 1 - 10 results for paying for itself comic strips. Discover the best "Paying For Itself" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2011's comic on:


Tags #exercise & fitness, #office workers, #using company gym, #60 hrs week, #paying for itself

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, I can't give you a raise because you've been using the company gym during work hours. Ted: I work sixty hours a week! Why did we build a new gym if I'm not supped to use it?? Boss: You were right. That gym is totally paying for itself.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #embarrassed of son, #Family, #food service industry, #insult, #locksmith, #mother, #named project manger, #paying for lunch, #restaurants, #sons occupation, #don't tell freinds

View Transcript

Transcript

Mom, the good news I wanted to tell you is that my boss named me project manager. Mom: Please keep that to yourself. I tell my friends you're a locksmith. Dilbert: You're paying for your own lunch. Waiter: I'm Ed. I'll be your project manager.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #free app, #stealing personal info, #lodge complaint, #monthly subscription, #package, #history of contaxcts, #sells itself

View Transcript

Transcript

Customer: Your free app is stealing my personal information. I'd like to lodge a complaint. Dogbert: Buy our monthly subscription package or I'll send your browser history to your contacts. Dilbert: How's your app going? Dogbert: It practically sells itself.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #entrepreneur, #Wally, #Adventure, #challenge, #stops, #paying, #quit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally stand in the hallway holding coffee cups. Wally says, "I'm thinking of quitting and becoming an entrepreneur." Wally continues, "I want to experience life on the edge, full of risk and challenge and adventure!" Dilbert says, "The company stops paying you if you quit." Wally responds, "Oh, then never mind."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #telecommute, #high paying, #goals, #measured, #stay home, #mail checks, #direct deposit

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'd like a job where I can telecommute every day." "It should be high-paying yet have goals which can't be measured." "So, you'd stay home and we'd mail you checks?" "I was hoping for direct deposit."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 1993's comic on:


Tags #bank of ethel, #ethel, #Dilbert, #paying, #credit, #Card, #automatically, #transfer, #account, #craze, #elsewhere

View Transcript

Transcript

A teller at the Bank of Ethel says, "Next victim." Dilbert approaches the window and says, "You charged me a fee for paying my credit card bill a day late." The woman asks, "So?" Dilbert asks, "Why don't your computers automatically transfer money from my checking account instead of charging a penalty?" The teller replies, "Frankly, we're not much into the 'customer service' craze." The teller continues, "We prefer to set little traps so customers get hit with unexpected penalties." Dilbert says angrily, "Well!! I think I'll just take my business elsewhere!" The teller says, "You're annoying me. That's a hundred dollar penalty!" Dilbert walks out of the bank wearing only his underwear. He thinks, "I don't think I can even claim a moral victory here."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #idiots, #i quit, #higher paying job, #miles away, #adios, #web designer, #hear your idiots, #ethernet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, the boss and a male employee are sitting at a table. The employee who has a lap-top in front of him says: "You're all idiots. I quit!" The male employee is typing on his lap-top and says: "There ... I found a higher paying job two miles away. Adios, suckers." A female employee standing between Dilbert and the boss says: "I'm the new web designer. I hear you're idiots. Where's the ethernet jack?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 1999's comic on:


Tags #detect trends, #act accordingly, #not having strategy, #make itself

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted is giving a presentation using slides and a pointer. He points to the slide which has an arrow pointing to a spot and says: "Our strategy is to detect any trends and react accordingly." Asok, Wally and Dilbert are sitting at a table with sheets of paper in front of them. Dilbert says: "Isn't that exactly the same as not having a strategy?" Ted answers: "Hey, this slide didn't make itself."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2004's comic on:


Tags #dogbert consults, #easy financing, #price gouge, #leasing advice, #paying, #products

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults Dogbert: "You should offer your customers easy financing." "That disguises the true cost of your products so you can price-gouge and people will thank you." "How much are we paying you?" "I'm leasing my advice to you." "Thank you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2004's comic on:


Tags #nothing to fear, #reorganization, #fear itself, #dont think

View Transcript

Transcript

"This department has nothing to fear about the reorganization but fear itself." "Don't think about it... don't thik about it." "Okay, I'm pretty sure that that doesn't mean anything." "Dang." "Maybe less."