People Leave Comic Strips
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1000 Results for People Leave
View 1 - 10 results for people leave comic strips. Discover the best "People Leave" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 11,
1994
Tags #no raise, #engineers wuit, #the goal, #reduce headcount, #smart people leave, #organize pot luck
Transcript
Dilbert: "I'm telling you - if nobody gets a raise, half the engineers will quit!" The Boss: "That's the goal. We're trying to reduce headcount by fifty percent." Dilbert: "But all the smart people will leave!" Dilbert: "Would you mind organizing a goodbye potluck lunch for them?"
Saturday January 21,
1995
Tags #team leader, #raise, #no extra money, #responsibility, #best epople, #leave better companies, #recognize them
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm promoting you to team leader." Dilbert asks, "Do I get a raise?" The Boss replies, "There's no extra money, just extra responsibility. It's how we recognize our best people." Dilbert says, "I thought all the good people leave for better companies." The Boss walks away saying, "That's another way to recognize them."
Saturday June 09,
2001
Tags #blah blah, #escape, #gnaw arm, #non stop talker, #trapped in cucbicle, #want to escape, #trapped animal, #people leave
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his cubicle as a co-worker says, "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH." Dilbert thinks to himself, "I'm trapped in my own cubicle." Dilbert looks down at his arm and thinks, "Maybe I can gnaw off my arm to escape." Dilbert stands in front of Dogbert with a bandage on his arm. Dogbert asks, "And that worked?" Dilbert replies, "People don't stick around when you start gnawing on your arm."
Saturday November 05,
1994
Tags #right sizing, #company, #bright sizing, #laughter, #bananas at lunch, #business
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and a man sit at a table eating lunch. The man says, "Instead of 'right-sizing' our company is 'bright-sizing.' That's when all the bright people leave!" They all laugh. They stop laughing and Dilbert says, "Hey! We all brought bananas."
Saturday November 06,
1999
Tags #ratbert, #call center, #room of shoes, #wall
Transcript
Callcenter. Dilbert: Here's where you'll be working Ratbert. Robert: This must be where people leave their shoes. Is it okay if I hang my things on my wall?
Thursday May 29,
2003
Tags #conincidences, #ell phones, #ring, #emergency, #crisis, #meetings, #people leave
Transcript
The Boss is about to start a meeting. Wally, Dilbert, Asok, and Alice's cell phones all ring simultaneously. Wally says into his phone, "Emergency, you say?" Dilbert asks into his phone, "Crisis?" The Boss is alone in the conference room. He thinks, "I'm losing my faith in coincidences."
Monday January 28,
2019
Documents On Chairs
Tags #frustrated, #office, #office workers, #paper
Transcript
Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate it when people leave documents on my chair! I will have my revenge by sticking this at the bottom of my biggest pile. Winning.
Sunday July 07,
2019
Layoff Package
Tags #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #buyout
Transcript
dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.
Tuesday March 19,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #sneeze, #happen, #name, #leave, #town
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a conference table with three people and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . sneeze coming." Dilbert sneezes violently. Dilbert's sneeze blew the toupee off the man next to him and knocked a woman out of her seat. Dilbert thinks, "I can pretend that didn't happen, or change my name and leave town."
Wednesday July 29,
1992
Tags #conversation, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #newsletter, #clueless, #people, #clever, #typing
Transcript
Dogbert sits at a desk. Dilbert says, "Well, there you are, working on your little newsletter for clueless people . . ." Dilbert continues, "You're probably thinking up some clever little fact that the so-called people would never realize on their own." Dilbert reads the monitor and says, "Let me see . . . 'If you are the only one talking then it is a clue that no conversation is occurring and it is time to leave."