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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 1989's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #perpetual motion club, #hand, #secret, #handshake

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Dogbert asks Dilbert, "How was your first meeting with the 'Perpetual Motion Club?'" Dilbert replies, "Great! I learned the secret handshake tonight." Dilbert sticks his hand out and says, "You stick your hand out and spin it around like this." Dogbert asks, "Then what?" Dilbert replies, "Then you just keep on doing it forever." Dogbert says, "That explains why you keep it secret."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #scientists, #spare, #time, #inventing, #perpetual motion, #device

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says as assembles a device, "I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion device." Dilbert continues, "Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't." Dogbert asks, "A lot of spare time?" Dilbert replies, "Exactly."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2004's comic on:

Tags #performance review, #meetings, #too negative, #poo posed ideas, #cold fusion, #perpetual motion, #clothes dryer, #antigravity pants, #mri vending machine, #terrible ideas, #negative attitude, #tongue scraper

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"Performance review" "People say you're too negative in meetings." "Negative? When?" "According to the marketing department, you poo-pooed a number of their ideas..." "...The cold fusion scooter, perpetual motion clothes dryer, antigravity pants, MRI vending machine, and the list goes on." "Those are terrible ideas!" "Negative attitude!!! Gottcha!!!" "Okay, you're right. From now on, I will support all terrible ideas." "Good." "It's a tongue scraper and a frozen flagpole!" "Can it be electrified?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1989's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #mailbox, #toast of the month club, #toast

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Dilbert approaches the mailbox saying, "Oh, please, please, please . . ." Dilbert opens the mailbox and says, "Yay! It's here!" Dilbert walks away carrying a piece of bread. Dilbert says, "Nothing quite matches the thrill of the 'Toast of the Month Club!'"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2012's comic on:

Tags #computer software, #inventions, #3d network, #motion sensors, #sneezed, #merged network, #15th of cisco

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In the near future Wally: I was manipulating a 3-D network model using my hand motion sensors. It was all good until I sneezed and accidentally merged my network design with my outlook calendar. Boss: When will you have that fixed? Wally: I should be done by... the 15th of Cisco.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #petimoney, #trial, #Dogbert, #suit, #hadeas corpus, #lo contendre, #latin, #club

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At the petimony trial, Dilbert says, "Your honor, I request that Dogbert's suit against me be dropped . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . On the grounds that there's no habeas corpus, no lo contendre, and no e pluribus unum." Dilbert looks up at the bench and thinks, "With luck, he doesn't know Latin either." The judge says, "Bailiff, club this man."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 1994's comic on:

Tags #key boards replaced, #motion sensing, #computer screen, #3d image, #technical professionals, #engineer, #moron, #engineering

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"Dogbert the Futurist" Dogbert: "Someday, keyboards will be replaced by motion-sensing rings on your fingers..." "The computer screen will be projected into your glasses as a 3-D image." - These developments will not enhance the image of technical professionals." Dilbert: "Are you an engineer?" Moron: "I'm a moron. Common mistake."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 1995's comic on:

Tags #black outs, #lights, #motion detectors, #hired a temp, #walk around, #go off, #another journalism major, #waste, #fan us

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The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We've been having a problem with black-outs. The office lights are controlled by motion detectors." A man stands next to the Boss flapping his arms. The Boss continues, "I hired a temp to walk around and flap his arms so the lights won't go off." Dilbert and Wally watch the temp flap his arms. Dilbert says, "Another Journalism major enters the workforce." Wally says, "It seems like a waste. Maybe he could fan us."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #diaries, #kirk cameron fan club, #kirk cameron, #satisfying

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Dilbert tells Dogbert, "You know, many great men kept diaries." Dogbert says, "Not to mention the entire Kirk Cameron fan club." Dilbert sits at a desk and writes, "Monday: Woke up. Went to work. Came home. Ate. Watched tv and went to bed." Dilbert closes the diary and tells Dogbert, "Well, this was both therapeutic and satisfying." Dogbert says, "Sometimes it's good to bare your soul like that." Dilbert sits at the desk and writes, "Tuesday: See 'Monday.'" He thinks, "Who the heck is Kirk Cameron?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 1996's comic on:

Tags #talc club, #rise, #next level shale, #respect, #aluminum

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Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert shows Dogbert a ring and says, "As you can see from my ring, I'm a member of the 'Talc Club' at work." Dilbert continues, "With hard work and a bit of luck I will rise to the next level: shale." Dogbert says, "I can honestly say my respect for you has never been higher." Dilbert says, "Someday, God willing, I'll make it to aluminum."