Personality Tests Comic Strips
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94 Results for Personality Tests
View 1 - 10 results for personality tests comic strips. Discover the best "Personality Tests" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday September 23,
2014
Engineering
Tags #engineers, #hiring, #negativity, #personality tests, #resumes, #special algorithms, #personality, #stupidity, #engineering, #psychology
Transcript
Catbert: No one looks at resumes anymore. Now we use special algorithms to see where your personality fits in our culture. Man: That process sounds like a steaming pile of stupidity that will beat itself to death in a few years. Catbert: I'll start you in engineering. You'll fit right in.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday October 01,
2014
Tags #drinking, #hiring, #personality tests, #sales, #sales personnel, #sociopaths, #storytelling skills, #morgue, #selfie, #dead guy, #super drunk, #hired, #sales person, #new hire, #business
Transcript
Boss: I can tell a lot from an applicant's storytelling skills. So tell me a story. Man: Last week, I broke into a morgue and took a selfie with a dead guy. But in my defense, I was super drunk. Boss: I hired a new salesperson.
Friday September 04,
2015
Robot Personality Defect
Tags #defect, #defective, #Men, #personality, #patriarchy, #gender, #programming, #robot, #deception, #trick, #technology, #psychology
Transcript
Alice: We need to design a defect into our robots so we can control them if they try to take over. But it has to be the type of defect that they think is an advantage, so they don't know what we're up to. Alice: I gave you the personality of a guy. Robot: Yay for sports! I own this world, bro!
Tuesday February 27,
2018
How To Use Personality Profiles
Tags #personality test, #personaity, #privacy, #memory, #forgetfulness, #absent mindedness
Transcript
Dilbert: We all took the Dogbert Personality Test, bu tit's not clear how we're supposed to use the information. I mean, how does it help me to know you're a forgetful moron who can't keep a secret? Boss: Who showed you my private test results? Dilbert: You did.
Monday February 26,
2018
Dogbert's Personality Profiles
Tags #consultant, #personality, #test, #business, #psychology
Transcript
Dogbert: I have the results of your Dogbert Personality Profiles. Based on your questionnaire answers, Alice is angry, Wally is lazy, and Dilbert is boring. Dilbert: How are we supposed to use this new information? Dogbert: Wake me up when he's done talking.
Thursday April 19,
2018
Terrible Personality
Tags #hiring, #company culture, #personality, #engineers, #psychology
Transcript
Boss: Which one of the engineering candidates should I hire? Dilbert: Both are highly experienced, but one has a terrible personality. Boss: Sounds like a perfect fit. Dilbert: I told him to expect an offer.
Monday October 22,
2018
Catbert Personality Test
Tags #Catbert, #applicants, #personality, #test, #reliable, #Astrology, #reliability
Transcript
Catbert: All job applicants must take the Catbert personality test to see how well they will fit into our culture. Studies show the test is twice as reliable as using astrology alone. Man: Astrology has zero reliability. Catbert: You're not a good fit.
Monday June 04,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #personality, #cult, #wear, #bathrobes, #picture, #back, #run, #naked, #attractive, #people
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to form a personality cult to honor me." Dogbert continues, "I'll take everybody's money and make them wear bathrobes with my picture on the back." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't it be cheaper to brand them and let them run naked?" Dogbert replies, "As a rule, we're not talking about attractive people here."
Monday July 30,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #rat, #plague-carrying, #vermin, #household, #personality, #television
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Dilbert, this is a rat. Rat, this is Dilbert." The rat says, "I've come to live here!" Dilbert says, "How lucky for us. We were just saying how much we needed a plague-carrying vermin to round out the household." The rat says to Dogbert, "He doesn't have much of a personality . . ." Dogbert replies, I usually drown him out with the television."
Thursday November 15,
1990
Tags #dilbert's ego, #sunglasses, #personality, #toupee, #roy orbison, #rely, #employee, #store, #update, #image
Transcript
Dilbert's Ego: I'm Dilbert's ego. I'd like to update image with a toupee. Male Employee: I recommend the, "Roy Orbison," Model. It comes with sunglasses. Dilbert's Ego: Now I won't have to rely so heavily on my personality,