Phd Degrees Comic Strips
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24 Results for Phd Degrees
View 1 - 10 results for phd degrees comic strips. Discover the best "Phd Degrees" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 27,
2003
Tags #phd degrees, #no common sense, #interview, #job interview, #not good to say
Transcript
The Boss: "Wow! You have three masters degrees and a PHD!" "Yes, it's all very impressive, but interestingly, I have no common sense whatsoever." "That's not the sort of thing you should say during a job interview." "I don't see why not."
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Thursday February 02,
2012
Tags #automobile travel, #automobiles (cars), #weather, #zero degrees, #icy roads, #coffee, #traffic, #guradrail, #3 hours late
Transcript
Boss: You're just now getting here? Wally: It's zero degrees and the roads are all ice. I drank six cups of coffee before leaving the house and sat in traffic for two hours. Boss: You're three hours late. Wally: I spent the last hour stuck to a guardrail.
Thursday August 28,
2003
Tags #ask them, #feeling embarrassed, #money, #negotiating with vendors, #phd, #right thing, #thinking of idea
Transcript
Man: I have a PHD, so obviously you should do what I say. Instead of negotiating with vendors, lets just tell them how much money we have and ask them yo do the right thing. You're probably feeling embarrassed for not thinking of the idea yourself. Alice: Must...not...shave...PHD.
Tuesday October 21,
2003
Tags #guest cartoonist, #rob the dinosuar, #bob, #million degrees, #costume, #you idiot, #no pay, #every has cotsume
Transcript
Whos todays Guest Cartoonist? Hi rob the dinosaur here! Today I want to.... cut! Your name is Bob! Sir, Its like a million degrees in here, Cant we take a two minute break? No! You'll do it until you get it right. you idiot! you have dissected me. no pay for you! I hate dilbert, SSH! HE'll hear you! Answer: Go to Dilbert.com
Thursday May 23,
2013
Tags #elevators, #ignorance (knowledge), #overqualified, #incompetent, #phd, #easily stumped
Transcript
Boss: I hired an overqualified yet incompetent guy to help on your project. Coworker: I was happily incompetent for years. Then I got my PhD and people started thinking I could do things. Okay, I'm stumped.
Wednesday September 04,
2013
Tags #competition (psychology), #ignorance (knowledge), #big tech firms, #hiring people, #prestigious degrees, #hiring idiots, #vacuum up, #hiring accused murderers, #bail
Transcript
Catbert: The big tech firms say they no longer care about hiring people who have prestigious degrees. Obviously, they're trying to sucker the rest of us into hiring idiots while they vacuum up the people from the top schools. CEO: We need to get on this. Catbert: We could say we get good results by hiring accused murderers who are out on bail.
Thursday October 05,
1989
Tags #phil, #Dilbert, #living room, #Dogbert, #damned, #darned, #sitting
Transcript
Dilbert asks Phil, the Ruler of Heck, "Then . . . I won't be damned?" Phil replies, "Just 'darned.' It was a misdemeanor." Phil continues, "You must set your thermostat for 76 degrees and stay in the living room for fifteen minutes." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the hassock. Dilbert says, "I'm sorry, Dogbert. I brought this upon us." Dogbert says, "It's something you'll have to live with."
Friday August 09,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #temperature, #internal, #organs, #compared, #bout, #bubonic, #plague, #repaired, #mower, #co-worker
Transcript
Dilbert and three men sit at a table eating lunch. A man says, "Yeah . . . I had a temperature of 147 degrees and they had to remove my internal organs." Another man says, "Well, that's nothing compared to my bout with bubonic plague last week." A man with no head asks, "Did I ever tell you about the time I repaired my own lawn mower?" Another man thinks, "Not again."
Thursday July 30,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #copy, #newsletter, #clueless, #people, #situation, #conversational, #geometry
Transcript
Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Ratbert, I brought you a copy of the 'Dogbert Clueletter,' the newsletter for clueless people." Ratbert replies, "No thanks. I used to be clueless but I turned that situation around 360 degrees." Ratbert reads the newsletter, "Dogbert's clues to conversational geometry."
Tuesday February 21,
1995
Tags #pathological liar, #work, #luck, #phd in laitology, #from mit, #diploma
Transcript
Dilbert asks Dogbert who sits on the armrest of the couch, "Dogbert, I need your help dealing with a pathological liar at work." Dogbert says, "You're in luck. I happen to have a Ph.D. in Liatology from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology." Dilbert crosses his arms and says defiantly, "I'd love to see your diploma." Dogbert replies, "I'll mail it to you."